Initially for the first 3 nights she was very restless and hallucinating; seeing things and people around her and making noises. There was really nothing much we could do, except to try to calm her down in different ways.

Fortunately she got much better and her mind much clearer after the third day; she could recognise us. However, she was still eating very little and getting weaker. We tried buying her some of her favorite food and cooking what she requested but she was still not eating. The doctor was telling us if she continued to refuse to eat, they would have to feed her by inserting a tube through her nostril down the throat and into her stomach. We were all at a lost and didn’t know what to do except to hope that she would start eating.

Then miraculously she started eating more and more. Soon she regained her strength back. My grandmother is a very strong-willed lady who always want to win. Thus the first thing when she got back her strength, she wanted to go home; the hospital couldn’t discharge her as they were monitoring her blood sugar level (which has been high) as well as her hemoglobin (which has been low). We had to try all ways to pacify her to stay in hospital.

Most parents nowadays are facing this similar challenge and are guilty of not spending enough quality time with their children. In a highly competitive society like Singapore, a lot time both parents are working and their children are either left to the care of grandparents (who are the more fortunate one like my siblings and I) or domestic helper.

As much as I believe that it is important for parents to be working hard to provide for the family, it is equally important for parents to spend quality time with their children and to be there for them.

Reading the column reminds me of a meeting I had with a friend last year. While giving him a ride home, I sensed his weariness and asked him about it. He shared about his new appointment at work; he was given a role to manage projects and some junior staffs. With the new appointment and responsibility, he not only had to work late almost everyday to fulfill endless deadlines but also had to spend time to guide the junior staffs. Even at home, he often had to reply to time critical email; ignoring the email could hold up the whole production.

As a result of his new appointment, he was always tired and did not have the energy to spend time with his new born daughter. He told me the feeling sucked. It was clear that his top priority is his family but his work was keeping him from doing what is important to him. It was no wonder his positive energy was all drained and he appeared so tired, not only physically but also mentally. Good thing he realised what is his priority and making change.

I believe that most people realised the important to attain work-life balance but most are being thrown into the same situation as my friend. As what the columnist wrote, “The hard part of course, is putting realisation into practice.” A message from a fridge magnet given to the columnist, which I found very true, “This is how kids spell ‘love’ - ‘T.I.M.E’.” Children will not understand “…we’re too busy trying to make sure our children have the luxuries we never had.” To them, ‘love’ is us spending quality time with them and always being there for them.

I have the habit of sharing lessons, as what a dear friend of mine put it, with family and friends through email. I am not sure if they read the email 100% of the time because I rarely get a reply from them. It has always thrilled and delighted me to get replies once in a while. However, I was both happy and sad when I received a reply from this dear friend about a week ago. He was the one who shared the story of Dr. Kwek with me.

Although I did not know Dr. Kwek personally, reading the testimonials of his patients still saddened me. In a tribute to him, I learned how he had walked the extra miles. He was called up late in one evening by this patient’s sister and yet he turned up at the hospital’s A & E department just to visit this patient. They made a detour to his clinic later, at close to midnight, so that he could give this patients some jabs. A simple act like this could have been just a routine and norm for Dr. Kwek. However, for this patient, this simple act of kindness and concern meant a great deal and touched his life.

In my reply to this dear friend, I said, “It is very rare these days to find a good doctor who is not more interested in his/her pocket than his/her patient.” I hope Dr. Kwek story could serve as an inspiration to doctors and aspiring doctors. Just as the revenue is important to you (you and your family need to survive too, in order for you to have a peace of mind to help others), your patients are equally, if not more important as they have entrusted their lives to you.

From the video on Kindness by Amy Krouse Rosenthal which I had share in my last post, Amy asked, “What constitutes a life worthy of being remembered? How do you want to be remembered? Big questions to consider! A life worthy of being remembered will differ from individual to individual as one explores deeply within oneself. And how do one wants to be remembered? That could be a tricky question as how others remember us may not always be how we have wanted them to remember us.

Perhaps the question we need to consider is “What is/are the important things, the priorities, in our life 10, 20 or 30 years down the road?” It seemed that what were important to Dr. Kwek had naturally become the way of how people are remembering him now. The story of Dr. Eric Kwek Soon Kiat has enlightened me and straightened out my perspective. He had reminded me of the priorities in life.

To leave you with something my dear friend said, “Life has different plans for each of us, may all of us finish it without regrets.”

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