Living Happily Ever After Like in Fairy Tales

Living Happily Ever After Like in Fairy Tales

They met as five-year-old schoolchildren in 1929 and still in love after 80 years. Is this one of those fairy tales which promised ‘happily ever after?’ This is the story of Jim Hadwin and his wife Moira. They have been married for more than 61 years and despite spending their whole lives together, Jim insists they still love each other’s company. Fairy tale does come true in real life and the prince and the princess can live happily ever after.

The reality in life is the prince and the princess do argue like any couple but they also get on very well and know it would be silly to fall out over silly things. Their priority for marriage is the same – making it works.

Amy Bloom said, “Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together…” Like dancing, we need to understand that our partners are individuals with point of views which may differ from ours; a dance step or movement which feels good to us may not feel good to them. Many time we could be affecting our partners without realising it ourselves. Then we started blaming each other for making the “wrong” movements. We need to communicate clearly to each other to make the ‘dancing’ relationship in marriage works.

And marriage is definitely not the ‘end’ of a relationship. It is a lifelong commitment in the other person and the start of a lifelong courtship. There should always be new excitements; plan for little surprises which you know will bring smiles to your partner. Find time to appreciate each other’s presence and to spend time with each other, even when you have children. Continue to go out on dinner or movie dates. No, not with the children, but just the two of you. Find a babysitter or nanny if you have to. Just go on dates as a couple.

And like what Benjamin Franklin said, “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.” We have to understand that no one is perfect in this world and we must learn to see the perfection in the imperfection of our partners.

Last but not least, I believe that we should also encourage each other to grow individually and to learn new things in life. I have always believe that even when a couple is married, the husband and wife should continue to have their own circle of friends who they can hang out with from time to time. Each should take time to take care of children and things at home and encourage his/her partner to go out with friends and to pick up new things. I believe by doing this, it will encourage personal growth. As in the poem ‘Marriage‘ by Kahlil Gibran, a united soul in two bodies.

What do you think? Should marry couple be bonded together at all time or should they have personal space? How do you keep your marriage going on year after year?

Photo by www.dailymail.co.uk
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Don’t Let Drunk Driving Ruin Your Night of Fun

drink drivingThe festive season is fast approaching and there will be numerous parties where you’ll be having a great deal of fun. When there are parties, there are always alcoholic drink and many reasons for one to drink more. Before you take another shot, think again, “Am I going to drive later?” If you are, most probably you want to be more discipline. If you are not, drink all you want and make sure you have someone to see you home safely.

During this time, you’ll see a lot of commercials, banners and posters to remind individual to drink responsibly. I believe that most people are responsible … at least all my friends drink responsibly. When they are drunk, they always make sure that someone else who is sober will be at the wheel. Probably next time, if you know that your friends are drunk or have been drinking a lot, you may also want to exercise a little social responsibility to stop him/her from driving.

Drunk driving is an offence in most countries around the world. Anyone who is convicted of injuring or killing someone while under the influence of alcohol can be heavily fined, in addition to being given a lengthy prison sentence. In Singapore, repeated offence of drunk driving can cause you to be fined up to $30,000 SGD and three years’ imprisonment. For an offender causing death or serious injuries can also be caned up to 6 strokes.

In a report from CNN, a man in LA was charged with three counts of murder when he ran a red light and struck a car, killing a Major League Baseball pitcher and two others while under the influence of alcohol. Just for that split seconds he had caused lost and miseries to three families.

death-finitionAccording to the Office for National Statistics of UK, “There were 8,724 alcohol-related deaths in 2007, lower than 2006, but more than double the 4,144 recorded in 1991. The alcohol-related death rate was 13.3 per 100,000 population in 2007, compared with 6.9 per 100,000 population in 1991.”

In the US, in 2006, an estimated 17,602 people died in alcohol-related traffic crashes—an average of one every 30 minutes. These deaths constitute 41 percent of the 42,642 total traffic fatalities (from National Highway Traffic Safety Administration)

In Singapore, there was a significant rise in drink-driving arrests recording a 7% rise from 3,733 cases in 2006, to 4,009 cases in 2007. From a speech by Dr. Teo Ho Pin, dated 13 December 2006; he cited an accident which happened earlier in March that year. Two colleagues were on their way home together on a motorcycle and they crashed into the centre divider along Bukit Timah Expressway and their bodies were found lying along the road. It was found later that both men had a high concentration of alcohol in their blood. In that tragedy, two families lost not only their sole breadwinners but also their husbands and fathers. Indeed as what he mentioned, “The penalties of drink-driving are very high – with the ultimate penalty being death.

Often time, you may think that you are still sober enough to drive after drinking but there are too many cases where drunk drivers caused death of their loved ones and innocent parties.

Prevention is always better than cure. If you are going out on a group, there can be a designated driver to send the rest home. And in the case when even the designated driver had a few drinks, there is always public transport or a cab instead. Never leave things to chance. Please do not ruin your night of fun and enjoyment and be sentenced to a lifetime of guilt and regret.

Photo by engindeniz

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Child Obesity: Who Should Take Responsibility?

Child obesity who should take responsibility

Eat all and whatever you desire … then pop this quick fix diet pill and you will slim down.‘ Frightening thought! This was something I heard in the news a few months ago about obese children. The question is, “can the damages already done to the body, by eating all the junk foods, be reversed so easily?”

According to a news report in The Huffington Post (April 6 2009), a new study by Ohio State-Temple University says almost 1 in 5 American 4-year-olds is obese. The study suggests that overall, more than half a million 4-year-olds are obese.”

Another updated report (2 September 2009) in BBC states, “The number of under-18s in the UK being prescribed weight-loss drugs rose 15-fold between 1999 and 2006.” Not to mention that these drugs are licensed only for adults.

In the book ‘Food, Inc,’ Robert Wood Johnson Foundation wrote, “Childhood obesity is a serious public health problem in the United States. Over the past three decades, obesity rates have soared among all age groups, increasing more than four times among children ages six to eleven.

If we do not do something about this rising trend, our children will end up with higher risk for heart disease, high blood pressure, cancers, joint diseases and other obesity related problems like pulmonary problems, type II diabetes, psychological (self esteem, confidence issues, and depression) etc. Not only that, obese adolescents are much more likely to become obese adults. Thus these health problems will follow them through their lives.

It is important to prevent childhood obesity not only because of the above mentioned health problems, but also because of the financial strain it causes in the economy. According to the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, “Childhood obesity alone carries a huge price tag – up to $14 billion annually in direct health-care costs.” Isn’t this another important reason for us to look into this seriously?

To reverse this rising trend, you guess it, we need to lead by example. We need to change both our lifestyles and the food that we are feeding them and ourselves. Remember “Children See, Children Do?

In changing our lifestyles, we need to involve children in more outdoor games and activities that will make them sweat and move around. Be creative and remember to make it fun for them. End of the day, these games and activities will benefit you too.

The next part is changing the foods that we are feeding them and ourselves. As the saying goes, “We are what we eat.”

Quoting something from Dr. Marion Nestle, a doctorate in molecular biology and a master’s in public health nutrition, both from the University of California, Berkeley:

“…basic dietary principles are not in dispute: eat less (means to consume fewer calories); move more (need to balance calorie intake with physical activity); eat fruits, vegetables and whole grains; and avoid too much junk food (highly processed sweets and snacks laden with salt, sugars, and artificial additives).”

Last but not least, since children are spending a lot of their time in school, school has to make sure that the foods that are served to the children meet healthy standard too.

It is the responsibilities of both school and us to ensure the good health of children. With this combine effort, we can definitely reverse the rising trend of child obesity.

Updated: 14 December 2010

Photo Credit: Stefano Chiarelli Photography
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Overcoming Challenges in Life

Step out On nothingI read an email from BetterWorldBooks.com yesterday, to inform me that November is National Family Literacy Month and they are offering 4 used children’s books for $10. Anyway, that was not what caught my attention. If you had read my previous post ‘Building a Better World through Education,’ you would know that I believe that literacy can change a person’s life.

You may ask, “what difference will it make?” I wouldn’t know. But if you know who is Byron Pitts, I believe it made a great deal of difference for him. From CBS News, Byron Pitts was named a contributor to “60 Minutes” and chief national correspondent for “The CBS Evening News with Katie Couric” in Jan. 2009. He had been a national correspondent since February 2006. He was what caught my attention when I read the email from BetterWorldBooks.com yesterday.

Pitts was one of CBS News’ lead reporters during the Sept. 11 attacks and won a national Emmy award for his coverage. Pitts other awards include a national Emmy Award for his coverage of the Chicago train wreck in 1999 and a National Association of Black Journalists Award. He is also the recipient of four Associated Press Awards and six regional Emmy Awards.

And yet a therapist in elementary informed his mother that he could not read. According to The Early Show, Pitts is functionally illiterate at 12 years old and who stuttered until he was 20. Could you imagine him ending up in the field of journalism, let alone a chief national correspondent and a “60 Minutes” contributor?

Pitts attributes his success by being surrounded by “regular folks,” including coaches, teachers, the priest from his high school and his college professors. To Pitts, his mother has always been around to support him and to encourage him in good days and bad days.

Byron Pitts story reminds me of the story I read about Thomas Edison. According to Wikipedia, the young Edison’s mind often wandered, and his teacher, the Reverend Engle, was overheard calling him “addled.” Edison recalled later, “My mother was the making of me. She was so true, so sure of me; and I felt I had something to live for, someone I must not disappoint.” Both were fortunate that there was someone in their lives who believe and have faith in them.

How often have a well-meaning statement done more harm than good? When someone says you cannot achieve something, that person not only limits you to his/her thought, but also prevents you from reaching your potential. The next time when we speak, should we not take care not to kill someone’s dream? Will you be one who will speak words of encouragement or one who will cause the death of a dream?

I hope the story of Byron Pitts will inspire you to overcome the challenges in your life now.

Blaming Others for the Mistakes

Last night while reading some forum posts, I came upon a story which I read some years ago:

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for work so he asked the wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. The mother, preoccupied in the kitchen, totally forgot the matter. Read more

What is That by Constantin Pilavios

A friend shared this touching short film in Facebook. According to a user who posted the same short film in Youtube, it was made in Greek in 2007. With the help of Google, I found it being shown in the 30th Greek Short Film Festival in 2007.

What is that by Constantin Pilavios is a short film about a conversation between a father and his son when a sparrow landed in front of them.

There was an email, with a very similar story, which I received back in 2006. Whichever came first, I do not know. But I hope, through the conversation of the father and his son, we could all be brought back to the time when we were young. Did our parents not shower us with tender love and patience?

This short film reminded me of the many conservations between my inquisitive four years old niece and my mother. Whenever she was watching TV programs with my mother, she would always ask her grandmother what was going on in the show. When my mother answered her question, she would pause to think for a moment and then went on to ask another question.

This process of question and answer would just go on and on; the little one never seemed to run out of questions. However, no matter how many questions the little one asked, my mother would always answer in a gentle, patient and loving manner.

I was also reminded of the few conversations one of my aunts had with my grandmother. My grandmother is going to ninety-five soon and she tends to forget about certain things. Like the father in the short film, she would ask the same question repetitively or repeat the same words again and again. But my aunt would always answer her gently and lovingly with a smile.

What similarity can you see between my niece and my grandmother? One is four years old and another at ninety-five years old. Now, if we think about it, my grandmother was once young like my niece and probably with an inquisitive mind. My niece will one day be old like my grandmother and may tend to get forgetful too.

The young will not be with us forever as they move out of the house one day to start their own lives. The best memories are the attention, love and acceptance we can give to them now; these will positively influence them to act the same way towards their children.

The old too will not be with us forever as they will pass on one day. Let them leave with loving thoughts, much as the love and care which they showered upon us when we were young.

What goes around comes around.