Last night while reading some forum posts, I came upon a story which I read some years ago:
A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for work so he asked the wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. The mother, preoccupied in the kitchen, totally forgot the matter.
The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle and, fascinated with its color, drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed, the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. How would she face her husband?
What was the reaction of the father when he got to the hospital and saw the dead child? Don’t let the cat out of the bag if you have read this before. For those who had not read this before, did you think that the father would fly into a rage and would reprimand his wife for not capping the bottle? Were you blaming the wife as well? But shouldn’t the husband just take time to put the bottle away? So who was to be blamed actually?
The father wasn’t angry at his wife at all. He looked at his wife and uttered just four words. What do you think were the four words?
The husband just said, “I love you, darling.”
The wisdom he displayed was truly an inspiration. The child was already dead and no way he could be brought back to life. What good would it do him to be angry with his wife? He responded by taking responsibility for his action; not taking time to put the bottle away.
He understood that his wife had lost her only child too. What she needed most was consolation and sympathy from him. That is what he gave her.
From the first time I read this story, I have been using it to remind myself to have the wisdom like the man. I must be less haste to find fault and to always take a more proactive perspective. I am not always successful yet. But practice makes better.
Blaming others for the mistakes seemed to be the natural thing to do whenever something bad happened. As the saying goes, “it is always easier to find fault with others than with ourselves.” Dr. Robert Anthony said, “When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” Let us take ownership and stop blaming others for the mistakes.
“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you … You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer
Photo credit: SnorkTV
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