Initially for the first 3 nights she was very restless and hallucinating; seeing things and people around her and making noises. There was really nothing much we could do, except to try to calm her down in different ways.

Fortunately she got much better and her mind much clearer after the third day; she could recognise us. However, she was still eating very little and getting weaker. We tried buying her some of her favorite food and cooking what she requested but she was still not eating. The doctor was telling us if she continued to refuse to eat, they would have to feed her by inserting a tube through her nostril down the throat and into her stomach. We were all at a lost and didn’t know what to do except to hope that she would start eating.

Then miraculously she started eating more and more. Soon she regained her strength back. My grandmother is a very strong-willed lady who always want to win. Thus the first thing when she got back her strength, she wanted to go home; the hospital couldn’t discharge her as they were monitoring her blood sugar level (which has been high) as well as her hemoglobin (which has been low). We had to try all ways to pacify her to stay in hospital.

Most parents nowadays are facing this similar challenge and are guilty of not spending enough quality time with their children. In a highly competitive society like Singapore, a lot time both parents are working and their children are either left to the care of grandparents (who are the more fortunate one like my siblings and I) or domestic helper.

As much as I believe that it is important for parents to be working hard to provide for the family, it is equally important for parents to spend quality time with their children and to be there for them.

Reading the column reminds me of a meeting I had with a friend last year. While giving him a ride home, I sensed his weariness and asked him about it. He shared about his new appointment at work; he was given a role to manage projects and some junior staffs. With the new appointment and responsibility, he not only had to work late almost everyday to fulfill endless deadlines but also had to spend time to guide the junior staffs. Even at home, he often had to reply to time critical email; ignoring the email could hold up the whole production.

As a result of his new appointment, he was always tired and did not have the energy to spend time with his new born daughter. He told me the feeling sucked. It was clear that his top priority is his family but his work was keeping him from doing what is important to him. It was no wonder his positive energy was all drained and he appeared so tired, not only physically but also mentally. Good thing he realised what is his priority and making change.

I believe that most people realised the important to attain work-life balance but most are being thrown into the same situation as my friend. As what the columnist wrote, “The hard part of course, is putting realisation into practice.” A message from a fridge magnet given to the columnist, which I found very true, “This is how kids spell ‘love’ – ‘T.I.M.E’.” Children will not understand “…we’re too busy trying to make sure our children have the luxuries we never had.” To them, ‘love’ is us spending quality time with them and always being there for them.

Most adults on the other hand have the ability, through learned experience, to differentiate people who are genuinely sincere and good from those who are not. This is one of the reasons, and a valid one, why parents find it necessary to protect baby from people who are not genuinely sincere and good.

In the process of growing up, the child will see, hear and pick up hatred we show to others along the way. We too had unconsciously learnt to hate from our parents and people around us; not that they wanted to teach us to hate on purpose, but through their words and actions, we imitated them until at such time that their words and actions become part of ours too. We eventually ‘pass’ these words and actions to our children. This is a vicious cycle that will stop only by consciously teaching our children to love people from the heart.

However, in order for us to be fitting to teach our children to love, we must first learn to love like them. Did I just contradict myself? It makes sense actually. We need to first learn to love people indiscriminately and with an open heart from them. Then we lead by example to love people indiscriminately and with an open heart. A challenging thing to do but so is anything worth fighting for.

Through conscious teaching of ourselves and especially our young ones to love, I believe that one day most of us will be loving people.

More often than not, we found their actions funny and they never failed to bring smiles to us. All these acts have been more amusing than bad so far.

However, just a few day ago, my sister shared with me something which left a deep impression in me; children, they are really watching us. Whether we like it or not, they are not only watching but doing what we are doing too. To some extent, what she has shared with me is quite disturbing.

Allow me to share what happened. My sister has been making unsuccessful attempts to grow money plants in her house. All the money plants didn’t last for long so far. A recent one was still blooming about a month back. But two weeks ago when I was at her place, it seemed that the money plant was reduced to a few leave. Not a beautiful sight at all.

Sometimes I wonder too, why some people seem to be able to make anything they grow bloom and some have no luck at all. My sister’s neighbour seems to have that magical touch; the money plant outside her house is blooming beautifully. So my sister decided to ‘borrow’ or rather cut a part of her neighbour’s money plant to try to grow in her house.

Well … she should have just asked for permission right? She didn’t. And she did it in front of her 5 years old daughter and twin 3 years old son. A BIG mistake! The moment my sister cut out a part of her neighbour’s money plant, her daughter asked, “Mom, why are you stealing Auntie’s money plant?” My sister said, “I’m not stealing. I cannot ask for Auntie’s permission because she is not around.” Brilliant answer? BIGGER mistake! Her daughter said, “It’s stealing if you do not ask for permission.” And yes, she is 5 years old.

A moment of rude awakening. My sister was dumbfounded! Mistake number 1: She should have just asked for permission to cut part of the plant and yes, my niece was right that ‘taking without asking is stealing.’ Mistake number 2: My sister should have admitted that she did the wrong thing and should not have tried to cover up.

This is definitely something which we do not want our children to pick up. Aren’t we supposed to be the one to tell them about life’s lessons? And yet we are re-learning these lessons from them. Their innocence and untainted eyes have taught us the values which we once knew but may have abandoned in the process of growing up.

Children are definitely watching what we are doing. So we must be careful of what we are doing in front of them. Let me put it this way, if we watch what we are doing even when they are not watching us, then very often we do not have to worry what we are doing when they are watching us.