I am asked over and over what I think about online dating. I really have a very strong opinion about online dating: I think it is great as long as you don’t make it your focal point.
It is very time consuming and extremely competitive. Now with that in mind, I also find it a lot of fun. You are bored at home watching television, and you can go shopping for women at anytime of the day. It is like having a Wal-Mart of women available to you day and night. . . Some are even marked down 50% depending on how long they have been on the site.
So, now, how do you distinguish yourself from all the other men that are trying to compete for women’s attention in this Wal-Mart cyber bar?
First, you need to realize that a good-looking woman gets over 100 responses to her profile on her first day on a site. What most men fail to do is to create tension in that first encounter.
Men are lazy and they tend to just cut and paste a canned email to the women. Guys, that is not going to cut it. You need to take control. Create some tension and intrigue, so she feels compelled to write you back and choose you over all the other guys in this cyber bar.
When I work with a client in my bootcamps, I teach him how to be different so when he is around women she will remember him. You need to do the same thing when you’re online.
Before you even write to a woman online, you need to make sure that your profile is fun and light.
-Share a story about one of your favorite things to do.
-Tell what you like to do on weekends.
-Share about your dog or cat.
Be positive and have fun so women can have something to grab onto when they read your profile. Women will read your profile over and over and they will get emotionally attached to what you say in your profile.
Do not put anything negative in your profile. For instance, do not brag about your job. Instead, you can say something like “I am very passionate about what I do for a living and have created an amazing life for myself.”
This will tell her that you are passionate about you . . . and that you would be passionate about her. It is all about creating emotions for her.
As far as pictures go, you need to use current pictures or have current shots taken. Show her who you are.
Don’t put a ten year old picture of yourself up on your profile. That is not going to win a woman over . . . one of the biggest turn-offs for women is a liar. Men try to be the ultimate salesperson, and you cannot win a woman over based upon deceit.
There are plenty of women online. Don’t get all hung up over one of them.
The next issue is what to do when you first contact a woman online. You need to do two things. The first thing is that you have to have a great subject line to intrigue her. Some examples include:
1. “Did you know …”
2. “We need to talk …”
3. “Quick question …”
4. “I see that you …”
5. “Did you hear about last night????”
You need a subject line that makes her want to open the email. Keep in mind that you are one of a hundred guys who are chasing her online, and in order to increase your odds you need to think like a woman. You also need to use the “…” at the end of your subject line so she is intrigued and wondering what is at the end of the “…” inside the email.
Also, for every ten emails you send out, expect only a few responses back . . . those are the odds against which you’re working.
I think I may be one of the only honest people out there in the world of dating. So many dating experts sell you a bill of goods . . . when the reality is that it is purely a numbers game.
The next step is to keep the dialogue interesting and intriguing. Read her profile, and pick out a nugget that you can respond to or on which you can comment.
Let’s say for example she loves taking her dog for a walk on the beach. You could write one of these (one of which is funny and the other is an open-ended question):
1) “I was curious, who picks out the beach for the walk . . . you or the dog??”
2)”What is your dog’s favorite beach for your walks, and what is it’s favorite toy to play with on the beach??”
There is no magic pill to get women to answer you . . . I’ve found that if you lead with a question that shows your interest in them, you will have a far greater response rate.
Once you get the dialogue going, get her number and seal the deal. When she gives you her number, you need to call her that night.
Keep in mind she has picked you and she is anticipating the first date. She has read your profile several times and she is excited about meeting you.
Don’t be a typical guy and wait to call her. If you wait, she will go to Plan B . . . and believe me, she has a Plan B!
Keep dating . . .
Dating Coach, Blogger and Author David Wygant has been featured on more than 2,000 radio and television shows including Dateline, CBS Good Morning, and MTV. Get more sex and dating tips on David’s interactive blog at davidwygant.com
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