Most adults on the other hand have the ability, through learned experience, to differentiate people who are genuinely sincere and good from those who are not. This is one of the reasons, and a valid one, why parents find it necessary to protect baby from people who are not genuinely sincere and good.

In the process of growing up, the child will see, hear and pick up hatred we show to others along the way. We too had unconsciously learnt to hate from our parents and people around us; not that they wanted to teach us to hate on purpose, but through their words and actions, we imitated them until at such time that their words and actions become part of ours too. We eventually ‘pass’ these words and actions to our children. This is a vicious cycle that will stop only by consciously teaching our children to love people from the heart.

However, in order for us to be fitting to teach our children to love, we must first learn to love like them. Did I just contradicted myself? It makes sense actually. We need to first learn to love people indiscriminately and with an open heart from them. Then we lead by example to love people indiscriminately and with an open heart. A challenging thing to do but so is anything worth fighting for.

Through conscious teaching of ourselves and our young ones to love, I believe that one day most, if not all, of us will be loving people.

Over the past few days, the religious harmony which religious leaders and the general public has been working hard to achieve was disturbed by one senior pastor’s insensitive and inappropriate presentation and comments about Buddhists and Taoists in front of his congregation. The pastor’s comments had been video-recorded and made available on the church’s website and subsequently became available on Youtube and other websites. His comments also gave rise to tension and conflict between the Buddhist/Taoist and Christian communities.

Fortunately, the incident was quickly contained and resolved even before it got any worse. The pastor has since made public apology to the Buddhists and Taoists for being insensitive and offensive in his presentation and comments. He also solemnly promised that it would never happen again. I certainly hope he meant what he said. I can’t imagine what the dire consequences would have been if this matter was not taken care of.

This brings me to the important role a religious leader plays in leading and setting the right example. I believe that religions are good in general as they promote good-will, peace, and the acceptance of others. Religion, in fact is neutral; it is the misinterpretation of the teachings in religion by individual that will either do good or do bad. While we must have faith in our religions, we must understand that the religious leaders who preach the teachings are human too. Thus, each of us can play a policing role to contribute to religious harmony too.

When I was reading on the basic of Buddhism during my younger days, I came across something written in the book which left a deep impression in me. In his teaching, Buddha advised his disciples not to accept his words on blind faith, but to decide for themselves whether his teachings are right or wrong, then follow them. He encouraged everyone to have compassion for each other and develop their own virtue, “You should do your own work, for I can teach only the way.”

I am not religious in person but like Abraham Lincoln, I believe in doing good; That is my religion too. I believe in supporting the highest good of ourselves and others.

If we accept the fact that each of us is unique and special in our own way, then why do some of us attempt to change our loved ones?

When we first fall in love with a person, we were attracted by some lovable traits of the other person. We felt a strong connection with the other person and almost as one with.

And yet over time some of us will start to detest these lovable traits which attracted us in the first place. That is when some of us will start to question and compare the person with another; why can’t he/she be more considerate like this person or why can’t he/she be more romantic like that person? Some of us will start to expect more from the person; why can’t he/she pays more attention to me?

Have we changed? Or has the person changed? Perhaps the person really does change over time. However, most probably the person each of us love is still the same person; we are just trying to change them to who we want them to be.

The Kay Way mentioned in her article You Can’t Change Men – Young Women Listen Up, “…before you decide to marry the man you want to change, take stock and find out if he is really the right one for you to avoid great heartache in the future for you both.” Although she wrote that article about women, I think even men make the mistake of trying to change the women they are in love with over time.

Thus instead of trying to change the other person, perhaps we need to think if we can really accept the person the way he/she is; we must not have the delusion that we will be able to change the person we are in love with.

Do we then just accept each person we loved unconditionally? Not exactly; If the person is abusive or toxic, it doesn’t make sense to accept the person just the way he/she is.

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are.” - Paulo Coelho. I believe that when we truly love another, we will be inspired to change ourselves to be a better person.

When I was in my junior college, I was in love with a school mate. I was also a bad tempered guy who was easily agitated. Then one day, while I was helping out in my Aunt’s food stall, it suddenly dawned upon me that being a person I was then, I wouldn’t be worthy of her love. From then on, I changed drastically and controlled my temper; I had become a better person. She did nothing to try to change me. I was inspired to change.

When we truly love another, we accept the person the way he/she is and we do not try to change the person. The change will come naturally.

Then, there are other hotels that pamper you with complimentary spa with sparkling wine. If you are a very family person and want to share this joy with your children, they are even willing to include complimentary breakfast and extra bed.

And since Valentine’s Day falls on the weekend this year, some of you may be planning for a short weekend getaway. A trip to a beach resort or warmer location may be good. Or how about a weekend cruise? Whatever you may have in mind, I believe you will be able to find great Valentine’s Day travel deals and packages.

With much focus on Valentine’s Day these days, we are truly spoiled for choices - but only if we allow ourselves to be caught up in all the marketing buzz. How are you spending your Valentine’s Day in 2010? Would it just be quiet moments with your loved one? Or would it be a day with your family or friends?

However, beyond the plan you may have, what is most important is how are we loving our loved ones.

Take Valentine’s day as a day to retake love vows for each other. Find the magic in saying, “I’d marry you all over again.” And it can also be a day to show gratitude for the good times and bad times you and your loved one had weathered together.

From just a traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other, Valentine’s Day has evolved and extended that expression of love to both family and friends too. The question is, “Are we showing enough love and appreciation to our families and friends?” It is not difficult for us to show our love and appreciation to our families and friends on Valentine’s Day since it is only a day’s affair. The challenge is showing the love and appreciation to them throughout the year.