Just saw a video of a talent competition from Korea and there is this man who had lived in the street alone for about 10 years, from a young age, selling gums and energy drinks for a living. And yet he moved on bravely; just doing what he likes to do – sing. He not only sings, he touches the hearts of the audiences and the judges. A lot of times, it takes someone like him to remind us of how fortunate we have been and how we may have taken a lot of things for granted. Quoting something from John Gokongwei, Jr., “The important thing to know is that life will always deal us a few bad cards. But we have to play those cards the best we can. And we can play to win!” No matter how hard life may be for you right now. Continue to move forward courageously with faith that one day all will get better; it will surely get better!
It is the same thing; no matter what our situation is today, we can always choose to do the best with the situation and we can play it to win.
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Job
What are the top 5 regrets as shared by Bonnie Ware (who worked for years nursing the dying) that people have on their deathbed?
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly,in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks,love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have sillyness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Someone shared this video with me about two weeks ago and it wasn’t till now that I am making the time to share this with you. Thank you for sharing this with me and pardon me for taking so long to share this gem with you.. The video was written and directed by Malcolm Green; cinematography by Daniel Trapp and produced by Simon Goodman. It was part of Jewish Care’s Pearls of Wisdom campaign, which aims to highlight the value and importance of older people in today’s ageing society. This video is a wonderful reminder of the wisdom of elderly around us. From a Chinese Proverb, “Having an elderly at home is akin to having a treasure at home.”
Random Wisdoms from the video: (as presented in the video)
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