Regina Brett written a column of the 45 Lessons Life Taught Me, which had since grown to 50, the day before she turned 45. Sharing these original 45 Lessons Life Taught Me and the additional 5 lessons. We can all make use of these 50 lessons too. Wishing goodness in all areas of your life!

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good. (Indeed, quoting from the Desiderata poem, ” … With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.)

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. (At the end of the day, when our time comes, what will we remember? What truly matters? One thing I know is that we certainly do not live forever and we do not even know how much time we have left. To spend time hating anyone take away the power in us to love everyone; for the goodness of others and for the goodness in ourselves.)

4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. (Winning an argument just make someone else loses one. Isn’t the relationship with the person more important than winning the argument?)

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present. (Always remember that the past does not determine our future; our future depends on what we are doing in the present moment.)

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special. (Randy Pausch said, “Time is all you have and you may find one day that you have less than you think.” There is no better time than today, now is always the good time to do whatever we want to do.)

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow. (Abraham Lincoln said, “I will prepare and some day my chance will come.“)

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything. (And that includes forgiving the person who we are most harsh on – ourselves.)

29. What other people think of you is none of your business. (“Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn’t have the time to sit around and talk about you. What’s important to me is not others’ opinions of me, but what’s important to me is my opinion of myself.” – C. JoyBell C. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross also said, “The opinion which other people have of you is their problem, not yours.“)

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative – dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

The addition of 5 Lessons; updated from Regina Brett.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don’t ask, you don’t get. (Remember to one video I watched about Steve Jobs on failure and he said that most people don’t get the experience that they want because they never ask. The question is what do we have to lose by asking? Nothing.)

49. Yield.

The New Year’s Eve was also subtly reflective as I observed the people around me and spending time with three little angels. 2012 has indeed been a year of excitements, love, broken hearts, and challenges! However, I believe that everything happened for a reason.

When I was penning a New Year greetings to send to my friends and associates in my Whatsapp’s contact list, a perfect message appeared in my mind – a speech by Claire Morgan, a character played by Hilary Swank in the movie New Year’s Eve, came to my mind; she has so perfectly and eloquently spoken my thoughts.

I wouldn’t start the new year without sharing this inspirational speech of Claire Morgan with you:

” … and as you all can see, the ball has stopped half way to its perch. it’s suspended there to remind us before we pop the champagne and celebrate the new year, to stop, and reflect on the year that has gone by, to remember both our triumphs and our missteps, our promises made and broken, the times we opened ourselves up to great adventures … or closed ourselves down for fear of getting hurt, because that’s what new year’s all about, getting another chance, a chance to forgive. to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more, and to stop worrying about what if… and start embracing what will be. so when that ball drops at midnight, and it will drop, let’s remember to be nice to each other, kind to each other, and not just tonight but all year long.“

Indeed, new year is a great time to reflect on the year that has gone by! Yet is it also a long wait to reflect on the year. In fact, we should break down the yearly reflection to monthly, or even weekly, or even (ideally) daily reflection; just as it was mentioned that we be nice to each other, kind to each other not just for new year day but all year long. In 2013, I want to go back to the basic of giving more, loving more, dreaming more, starting to embrace what I am, and counting my daily blessings. Most importantly – to live a Happy Life!

We were all born to live a life of greatness and there shouldn’t be any other way to live our lives except to unleash our full potential to become what we were created for. And a remind that time is all we have. As what Randy Pausch said, “Time is all you have and you may find one day that you have less than you think.” This is so very true isn’t it?

1. Focus on doing good things and all else will follow. This morning I read a comment someone made that being a good person is the world’s toughest task. Indeed, it could very well be the greatest challenge – especially when we put the focus on being a good person. Abraham Lincoln said it best when he said, “When I do good I feel good, when I do bad I feel bad.” Let us focus on doing good things and being a good person comes naturally in the process. It couldn’t have been more simpler than that. To do a rain check on ourselves, we can use the Integrity test: What we do when no one is watching us should be the same as when we know that someone is watching us. And follow our heart, not our ‘desire’, as it will always have the right answer for us.

2. Change should and must come from us – FIRST. I am a strong believer of Mahatma Gandhi‘s philosophy, “Be the change that you want to see in the world.” Instead of trying to change people, we lead and inspire the change.

3. Spend time with positive, loving and happy people. We know that positiveness and happiness are highly contagious, and yet we are allowing ourselves to be ‘beaten’ continuously by negative people around us. Have a clear picture of the kind of person we want to be and associate ourselves with like-minded people who are supportive and are willing to help us to become the person we aspire to be. It is easy to let go of negative people who are not closely related to us. How about those closely related to us? I’m not telling you to cut the tie completely; let them know that you will keep the lifeline always open for them and yet understand clearly that you can lead the horse to the river, you can’t make it drink. Understand also that they may not be ready now and there will be a time when they are ready; be there for them when they are.

4. Start loving people, including ourselves, and let go of any hatred we may hold of others. As Buddha said (I changed a little in this context), “Holding on to hatred is like grasping hot coals with the intent of throwing them at someone else, we are the one who will get burned.” Harness the power of forgiveness and free ourselves. As Louise Hay said, “I forgive everyone in my life, and release them with love. They are free and I am free.” Forgiveness free the people we hate and most importantly – free us.

5. Live in the present. Learn the lessons from the past and leave the past where it should stay. Start living in the moments. The things we are doing today will create the tomorrow we dream and putting our attention to the current moments can make a huge difference in simplifying our lives. Take care of today and tomorrow will turn out to be what we want it to be.

6. Start to take up responsibility. Putting the blame on others accomplishes nothing and complicates things. Be the master of our fates and the captain of our souls. Choose to be in control of ourselves, then to let go of that control to someone else.

7. Put useful information in our minds and mind our own businesses. The mind is the garden of our well-beings. Would we dump rubbish into our gardens? Yet, we are putting useless information into our mind. Online social medias like Facebook, Twitter etc are splendid way to keep in touch, yet many spend hours everyday minding the businesses of their friends in these social medias. We should be the one making use of these social medias and not the other way round.

8. Take a step backward in making decisions. Moving backward could be the best way to forge ahead sometimes. Think things through before making decisions especially when we know our emotions are kicking in. The best decisions are usually made with a clear mind.

Often time you have heard people saying, “How could I forgive him so easily for what he has done to me” or “I couldn’t let the matter rest so easily, I must get back to him.” The intense negative feelings associated in these statement are enough to devour you from within. Anger and hatred are very intense negative feelings that eat you slowly from within, draining away all your positive energy.

From Mitch Albom’s book, ‘The Five People You Meet in Heaven,’ he wrote, “… Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.” How true isn’t it? Remember the times when you are angry or hated someone? The more intense your anger or hatred, the more it hurts from within you, isn’t it?

The truth of the fact is that we need to forgive. Forgiving doesn’t mean to condone with the act of the other person. It simply releases us from the negative feelings and allow us to take control from within and in return you will receive untold peace and happiness as what Robert Muller said.

Do yourself a favor today; give yourself the gift of forgiveness and to let go of whatever negative feelings within you and fill it up with love instead. And as mentioned in the post, Forgiveness, “It is the best gift you can give to yourself and you can benefit greatly from it too.”