The reality in life is the prince and the princess do argue like any couple but they also get on very well and know it would be silly to fall out over silly things. Their priority for marriage is the same - making it works.

Amy Bloom said, “Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together…” Like dancing, we need to understand that our partners are individuals with point of views which may differ from ours; a dance step or movement which feels good to us may not feel good to them. Many time we could be affecting our partners without realising it ourselves. Then we started blaming each other for making the “wrong” movements. We need to communicate clearly to each other to make the ‘dancing’ relationship in marriage works.

And marriage is definitely not the ‘end’ of a relationship. It is a lifelong commitment in the other person and the start of a lifelong courtship. There should always be new excitements; plan for little surprises which you know will bring smiles to your partner. Find time to appreciate each other’s presence and to spend time with each other, even when you have children. Continue to go out on dinner or movie dates. No, not with the children, but just the two of you. Find a babysitter or nanny if you have to. Just go on dates as a couple.

And like what Benjamin Franklin said, “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.” We have to understand that no one is perfect in this world and we must learn to see the perfection in the imperfection of our partners.

Last but not least, I believe that we should also encourage each other to grow individually and to learn new things in life. I have always believe that even when a couple is married, the husband and wife should continue to have their own circle of friends who they can hang out with from time to time. Each should take time to take care of children and things at home and encourage his/her partner to go out with friends and to pick up new things. I believe by doing this, it will encourage personal growth. As in the poem ‘Marriage‘ by Kahlil Gibran, a united soul in two bodies.

The first thing that comes to my mind when I’m writing about my personal experience is Love. It’s such a mushy idea and yet so strong that it can conquer all differences and the vast distance separating two persons deeply devoted to each other. But sometimes, Love just ain’t enough. You can either see it as ‘There isn’t enough LOVE to see you through it all‘ or ‘Love is not enough to pull the two of you closer and part the seas separating you.’

LDR lives on thanks to modern technology. Yes, Internet helps more than the telephone. In this age, we are glad there are Skype, MSN messenger and every single chat function on Facebook, Gmail and Yahoo. We, the survivors of LDR, are grateful for the existence of Internet!

LDR basically works like any other relationship. You chat with each other over the silliest and mushiest things, you go on dates (when you see each other) or on virtual dates and you send each other kisses (minus the physical contact). For anyone who thinks that physical intimacy is vital in a relationship then he will not even try a LDR. Because sooner or later, he will cheat on her (physically or mentally).

I guess the best part of LDR is you will get lots of breathing space. You are free to do whatever you want as long as you keep your virtual dates in mind. You won’t have the problem of a sticky girlfriend or boyfriend. I guess it’s a great way for both parties to grow and mature enough to handle such a relationship.

At the end of it all, LDR is really painful. Communication is key. Yes, we all know that but you need to communicate on the right issues. Are you ready to commit to that someone? LDR means one or the other has to compromise, that is, he or she has to move from his or her current location in order for it to work ultimately. This is easier said than done since most of the time, family and/or work can play an important role. Well, all I can say is, every single person is different, every LDR is different. Love can conquer everything but do you let it?

*Special Thanks to Sher from Ur Resident Chef for this guest post. Sher is a very long time friend and from whom I learned a great deal about dreams, love, commitment and passion.

Photo from barunpatro

Thank you also to PinkLady from Of Living and Loving… and Coping for passing me the Humane Award. It is truly my honor.