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sleeping baby

No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” - Nelson Mandela

How true isn’t it? Nelson Mandela certainly was right when he said ‘… love comes naturally to the human heart …’ A child knows no hatred or how to hate and yet he/she instinctively feels the love and care shower by parents. A child generally do not differentiate statue too; a child may be shy and uncomfortable with strangers initially, but if the strangers treat the child lovingly and kindly, he/she will eventually warm up to strangers.

Most adults on the other hand have the ability, through learned experience, to differentiate people who are genuinely sincere and good from those who are not. This is one of the reasons, and a valid one, why parents find it necessary to protect baby from people who are not genuinely sincere and good.

In the process of growing up, the child will see, hear and pick up hatred we show to others along the way. We too had unconsciously learnt to hate from our parents and people around us; not that they wanted to teach us to hate on purpose, but through their words and actions, we imitated them until at such time that their words and actions become part of ours too. We eventually ‘pass’ these words and actions to our children. This is a vicious cycle that will stop only by consciously teaching our children to love people from the heart.

However, in order for us to be fitting to teach our children to love, we must first learn to love like them. Did I just contradicted myself? It makes sense actually. We need to first learn to love people indiscriminately and with an open heart from them. Then we lead by example to love people indiscriminately and with an open heart. A challenging thing to do but so is anything worth fighting for.

Through conscious teaching of ourselves and our young ones to love, I believe that one day most, if not all, of us will be loving people.

How do you think we can work towards teaching people to love?

Photo by pcioca

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LifeLock

Baby taking first stepAccording to WikiAnswers, an average moderately active person takes about 7,500 steps a day. Assuming that the person walks everyday starting from the age of one till the age of eighty, he/she would have taken more than 200 million steps in his/her lifetime. Who would have thought?

We started walking intuitively and probably from seeing our parents and other adults doing it; we imitated them. We fell and we picked ourselves up repetitively and fearlessly. Pretty soon we were walking steadily and the daring ones were already running. Through sheer hard work and encouragement, we had not only mastered the art of walking but also doing it with ease. Had we ever questioned the hard work we put into learning to walk?

Are there something which you are hoping to do well? I have an interesting news for you. With hard work and I mean a lot of hard work, you can achieve excellent in what you hope to do well. And not just hard work, “But work of a particular type that’s demanding and painful,” according to a report by CNN on the Secret of Greatness.

I do not have the innate gifts to be successful.” From the above mentioned report, British-based researchers Michael J. Howe, Jane W. Davidson and John A. Sluboda conclude in an extensive study, “The evidence we have surveyed … does not support the [notion that] excelling is a consequence of possessing innate gifts.The first major conclusion is that nobody is great without work.

A lot of people are working hard and yet not many are achieving excellent results. Where did it go wrong? The biggest challenge is that most people are just blindly charging ahead. A friend of mine shared his Cycle of Excellence with me a few years back. It is a simple feedback system he uses for his students so that they can constantly monitor their own results through feedbacks. Through the system, the students can pin-point what produces positive results and do more of that.

Besides monitoring which of our hard work produces positive result, a paper published by professor K. Anders Ericsson of Florida State University and two colleagues in 1993 notes, “Elite performers in many diverse domains have been found to practice, on the average, roughly the same amount every day, including weekends.” Thus, we also need to put in consistent hard work.

Many would have spent the weekend otherwise. Not many are willing to go the extra miles and that is why not many can achieve greatness. At least we know now that achieving greatness is not only for the privilege few but available for you and I.

What we hope ever to do with ease, we must learn first to do with diligence.” - Samuel Johnson

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looking back at the mirror

Photo by BadDude

Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies.” - Ann Landers

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There is power and truth in this saying. And yet, why do some of us let our pasts hang on to us and continue to make our lives miserable? Do we not have the trust in ourselves to let go and move on in life? Perhaps, we do not trust or believe that life will get better? Indeed, it is not always guaranteed that life will get better once we let go and move on. And in some cases it may get worse? So why do we even bother to move on?

That is one question which I cannot answer for you? I believe that everything happened for a reason. For what reason you may ask. Sometimes you would know the reason immediately and other times you would not. Whatever reason it may be, there is always an opportunity to learn from what happened and to grow.

Just as a toddler falling, many times, from learning to walk, the toddler didn’t question why he/she was falling; the toddler just kept on trying.

As for me, it didn’t always get better for me in letting go and moving forward also, but it had not gotten any worst too. In fact, whatever I had thought not possible, proved me wrong again and again. There are times I was broken and thought that I could never love another as deeply again?

And eventually when I met the person with the ‘right’ chemistry, sparks flew and my heart beating once again at the speed of light. Yes, I exaggerated. But I believe you get my idea that eventually we will find the ‘right’ person again - provided we are willing to let go and move on with an open heart again.

Letting go and moving on is not always easy. But it can also be as easy as deciding that we want to move on. Lessons in the past we need to learn but forward we must move on … for that is where our future lies.

I wish for you the strength and courage to take on any challenge that you may be facing in your life now.

Do you have any experience in the past where you had found the strength in letting go and moving forward? How were you able to overcome your challenges? And how did it turn out eventually? I believe your shared experience can empower and inspire others too.

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No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change.” - Barbara de Angelis

This was a quote which I came across yesterday while I was compiling some love quotes by Barbara de Angelis. I knew it instantly that this is one quote which I want to share with you. This quote is in line with the ‘Rewriting Life with Different Choices‘ post, which I did a about two weeks ago.

One of the things which upsets me, is seeing people using their phone (without a hands-free) while they are driving. Now they are even checking their text messages and texting while driving.

Then there are always the inconsiderate few who decide that they prefer to throw trashes on the floor when the bin is less than a feet away.

It really doesn’t make any sense in letting these people upset me. Can we really be in control of our happiness? I believe we can. As the saying goes, “It is not what happened but what we do or how we react to what happened that is most important.” There are people or things in life that are constantly upsetting us … but only if we allow them to.

There is something which I believe we all know; Whenever we let someone or something upset us, we are letting the person or the thing control our happiness. Why should we be allowing others to decide if we should be happy? Since being happy is essential for the well-being of one - be it mentally, physically or spiritually, shouldn’t we be in control of our happiness?

Let us start today to take control of our happiness and to decide to be happy. As Barbara de Angelis said, “… you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change.” I believe … do you believe?

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