After I finished the last sentence in the previous paragraph, I went to put out the laundry to dry, took a seep of water from the refrigerator, had a piece of chocolate and took a toilet break before finally sitting down once again to write; I lacked the self-discipline to focus and concentrate on the writing.

Just with most things in life, often time we lack the self-discipline to see us through what we are hoping to do or achieve. One area where self-discipline is clearly important is in losing weight.

Some people are constantly looking for quick fix to their weight problem; they will jump at anything that gives them guaranteed weight lost in the shortest time. They may lose weight fast, but they will find the result short term especially if they do not change the way they live and the food they eat.

To me, I strongly believe that the best way of losing weight naturally is through changing our living habits and what we eat. Doing that will not only ensure keeping the ideal weight permanently (through continuous self-discipline), but will also give us the many health benefits that come with living right and eating right.

A friend’s colleague shared his experience going through the journey from 115 Kilograms to 56 Kilograms in around one year. Not only does he look fresher and younger, he has also inspired his wife and friends to follow in his lifestyle.

His journey of losing weight started from a trip with his daughter to the doctor for her check up. He playfully weighed himself on the weighing machine while his daughter was having the check up. The doctor saw his weight and made a remark, “If you maintain that balloon weight, you cannot see your grandchildren.”

That made him decide, “Enough is enough!” Not only that, he felt tired easily and his excessive weight made him feel like a walking balloon. In that moment of awakening, he made decisions to change his lifestyle and eating habits. To him, this is the one proven way to lose the excessive weight. “Seeing my kiddos help me stay disciplined.” He said.

How did he do it? He first calculated his Body Mass Index (BMI) and set the goal he wanted to achieve. Then he cut down on the amount of food intake as well as changing what he was eating (no junk food, no refined-Carbohydrate, less or no fried food). Eventually he becomes a Pescetarian. The second part is doing lots of Cardio-exercises from badminton to running to squash and just nature trekking sometimes. The trick is to do these Cardio-exercises regularly. He did it thrice a week.

In his own words, “There is only one way: in two parts to lose weight; eat right and exercise. And this is a lifelong thing.”

Another thing which probably contributed to his success in losing the excess weight were the moral supports from family, friends and colleagues. However, without him first deciding to lose the excess weight and then keeping it going through self-discipline, he would not have done it!

Most adults on the other hand have the ability, through learned experience, to differentiate people who are genuinely sincere and good from those who are not. This is one of the reasons, and a valid one, why parents find it necessary to protect baby from people who are not genuinely sincere and good.

In the process of growing up, the child will see, hear and pick up hatred we show to others along the way. We too had unconsciously learnt to hate from our parents and people around us; not that they wanted to teach us to hate on purpose, but through their words and actions, we imitated them until at such time that their words and actions become part of ours too. We eventually ‘pass’ these words and actions to our children. This is a vicious cycle that will stop only by consciously teaching our children to love people from the heart.

However, in order for us to be fitting to teach our children to love, we must first learn to love like them. Did I just contradict myself? It makes sense actually. We need to first learn to love people indiscriminately and with an open heart from them. Then we lead by example to love people indiscriminately and with an open heart. A challenging thing to do but so is anything worth fighting for.

Through conscious teaching of ourselves and especially our young ones to love, I believe that one day most of us will be loving people.

High-Mindedness is a concept which I read from the book, Calm and Compassionate Children, by Susan Usha Dermond. It is the practice of focusing our thoughts in a positive direction. Although the book explores the usage of this concept in parenting, I believe we can adapt this concept in our everyday life.

Practicing high-mindedness is to focus on uplifting moments in everyday life by paying attention to the positive energy surrounding us. The book shares, “Paying attention to the beauty and kindness surrounding us develops sensitivity and gives a calmer outlook on life because it brings our focus to the moment, away from anxiety about the future or past,”

What we can do, as shares by the book, to practice high-mindedness is noticing, which is an activity to share simple joy of uplifting moments with others; for example, the freshness of the morning breeze, the wind rustling the leaves, the smell of a freshly baked loaf of bread or the cloudless blue sky. When we noticed these simple joys, we shared them with others by bringing it to their attention.

Noticing not only helps us to focus our attention to uplifting moments, but also helps us to count our blessings and be grateful for them. Inevitably, we will also be happier when we are finding more time to notice and rejoice in life’s little blessings.

Noticing is one activity which we can carry out with our family and friends. What is being proposed in the book is for family to share gratitude moments at dinner every evening, where everyone shares something from the day that they are grateful for. It will be challenging and may seem unnatural at first, but practice makes better; eventually everyone will find it easy to share moments from the day they are grateful for.

Practicing high-mindedness through noticing will allow us to focus in the positive direction, to appreciate the simple joys in life and to be grateful for the daily blessings that are coming to us. Through that feeling of peacefulness in gratitude, comes happiness.

We are different and yet we are also similar to each other. We are all sons or daughters to our parents, fathers or mothers to our children, uncles or aunts to our nieces and nephews, brothers or sisters to our siblings and friends to our friends. You and I, we are just souls being housed in different bodies.

When we focus on the differences, we see the differences in colour and culture. When we focus on the similarities, we can look beyond the physical layer into the beauty of the soul – the essence of life.

This is a journey with lot of challenges, but one which we do not travel alone. And together we can do it! Let us join our hands together to take on this journey of peace where our children understand and respect each other difference. And they treat each other with loving kindness and compassion. We can positively influence our children through our actions.