Most adults on the other hand have the ability, through learned experience, to differentiate people who are genuinely sincere and good from those who are not. This is one of the reasons, and a valid one, why parents find it necessary to protect baby from people who are not genuinely sincere and good.

In the process of growing up, the child will see, hear and pick up hatred we show to others along the way. We too had unconsciously learnt to hate from our parents and people around us; not that they wanted to teach us to hate on purpose, but through their words and actions, we imitated them until at such time that their words and actions become part of ours too. We eventually ‘pass’ these words and actions to our children. This is a vicious cycle that will stop only by consciously teaching our children to love people from the heart.

However, in order for us to be fitting to teach our children to love, we must first learn to love like them. Did I just contradicted myself? It makes sense actually. We need to first learn to love people indiscriminately and with an open heart from them. Then we lead by example to love people indiscriminately and with an open heart. A challenging thing to do but so is anything worth fighting for.

Through conscious teaching of ourselves and our young ones to love, I believe that one day most, if not all, of us will be loving people.

High-Mindedness is a concept which I read from the book, Calm and Compassionate Children, by Susan Usha Dermond. It is the practice of focusing our thoughts in a positive direction. Although the book explores the usage of this concept in parenting, I believe we can adapt this concept in our everyday life.

Practicing high-mindedness is to focus on uplifting moments in everyday life by paying attention to the positive energy surrounding us. The book shares, “Paying attention to the beauty and kindness surrounding us develops sensitivity and gives a calmer outlook on life because it brings our focus to the moment, away from anxiety about the future or past,”

What we can do, as shares by the book, to practice high-mindedness is noticing, which is an activity to share simple joy of uplifting moments with others; for example, the freshness of the morning breeze, the wind rustling the leaves, the smell of a freshly baked loaf of bread or the cloudless blue sky. When we noticed these simple joys, we shared them with others by bringing it to their attention.

Noticing not only helps us to focus our attention to uplifting moments, but also helps us to count our blessings and be grateful for them. Inevitably, we will also be happier when we are finding more time to notice and rejoice in life’s little blessings.

Noticing is one activity which we can carry out with our family and friends. What is being proposed in the book is for family to share gratitude moments at dinner every evening, where everyone shares something from the day that they are grateful for. It will be challenging and may seem unnatural at first, but practice makes better; eventually everyone will find it easy to share moments from the day they are grateful for.

Practicing high-mindedness through noticing will allow us to focus in the positive direction, to appreciate the simple joys in life and to be grateful for the daily blessings that are coming to us. Through that feeling of peacefulness in gratitude, comes happiness.

We are different and yet we are also similar to each other. We are all sons or daughters to our parents, fathers or mothers to our children, uncles or aunts to our nieces and nephews, brothers or sisters to our siblings and friends to our friends. You and I, we are just souls being housed in different bodies.

When we focus on the differences, we see the differences in colour and culture. When we focus on the similarities, we can look beyond the physical layer into the beauty of the soul - the essence of life.

This is a journey with lot of challenges, but one which we do not travel alone. And together we can do it! Let us join our hands together to take on this journey of peace where our children understand and respect each other difference. And they treat each other with loving kindness and compassion. We can positively influence our children through our actions.

More often than not, we found their actions funny and they never failed to bring smiles to us. All these acts have been more amusing than bad so far.

However, just a few day ago, my sister shared with me something which left a deep impression in me; children, they are really watching us. Whether we like it or not, they are not only watching but doing what we are doing too. To some extent, what she has shared with me is quite disturbing.

Allow me to share what happened. My sister has been making unsuccessful attempts to grow money plants in her house. All the money plants didn’t last for long so far. A recent one was still blooming about a month back. But two weeks ago when I was at her place, it seemed that the money plant was reduced to a few leave. Not a beautiful sight at all.

Sometimes I wonder too, why some people seem to be able to make anything they grow bloom and some have no luck at all. My sister’s neighbour seems to have that magical touch; the money plant outside her house is blooming beautifully. So my sister decided to ‘borrow’ or rather cut a part of her neighbour’s money plant to try to grow in her house.

Well … she should have just asked for permission right? She didn’t. And she did it in front of her 5 years old daughter and twin 3 years old son. A BIG mistake! The moment my sister cut out a part of her neighbour’s money plant, her daughter asked, “Mom, why are you stealing Auntie’s money plant?” My sister said, “I’m not stealing. I cannot ask for Auntie’s permission because she is not around.” Brilliant answer? BIGGER mistake! Her daughter said, “It’s stealing if you do not ask for permission.” And yes, she is 5 years old.

A moment of rude awakening. My sister was dumbfounded! Mistake number 1: She should have just asked for permission to cut part of the plant and yes, my niece was right that ‘taking without asking is stealing.’ Mistake number 2: My sister should have admitted that she did the wrong thing and should not have tried to cover up.

This is definitely something which we do not want our children to pick up. Aren’t we supposed to be the one to tell them about life’s lessons? And yet we are re-learning these lessons from them. Their innocence and untainted eyes have taught us the values which we once knew but may have abandoned in the process of growing up.

Children are definitely watching what we are doing. So we must be careful of what we are doing in front of them. Let me put it this way, if we watch what we are doing even when they are not watching us, then very often we do not have to worry what we are doing when they are watching us.