Burden of care? Would you ever consider taking care of loved ones to be a burden? I certainly hope not. Taking care of loved ones is never a burden; it is love and responsibility. I do not deny there might be times when one will feel that way; this is normal as no one is perfect in this world - we are striving to be a better person but never perfect. There will be a time when taking care of loved ones is no longer a responsibility but out of unconditional love and giving.

Frankly speaking, I wouldn’t know if I will feel that way. I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t at this point of time when I have not gone through it. My mother and I had a few days of experience with my grandmother when we brought her home to stay with us for a few days. The first day was alright, she was happy. However, from the second day onwards, she started to miss home, was asking questions repetitively and was telling us to send her home the next day; she never stopped to worry about her son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren at home. She did not sleep well at night and walked around the house in the dark. And we couldn’t sleep well too as we were worried about her; looking out for her and checking on the slightest sound to make sure she was alright.

The challenge of taking care of loved ones is real but it is never a burden. One really really needs to be very very patient. I am grateful for the experience that my grandmother gave to me; it made me realise how important unconditional love is. This also provides me an unique opportunity to prepare myself to love and to give unconditionally. Something from the story below, “True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.”

She Doesn’t Know Me, But I Still Know Who She Is

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80’s, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.

He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him.

I saw him looking at his watch, and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor’s appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health; he told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer’s disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, ‘And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are’? He smiled as he patted my hand and said, ‘She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is’.

I had to hold back tears as he left; I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, ‘That is the kind of love I want in my life’. True love is neither physical, nor romantic.

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This one I thought I could share with you.

The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

“My Dear Baby, if you can live through this, you must remember that I love you.” Those were the last words that a mother left, in a sms message, for her baby. A short message that brought tears of sadness and joy to many. I saw a message in a friend’s MSN that said, “Beautiful anchorwoman reporting not so beautiful news.” I believe that she and many others were affected by the devastating news, in Myanmar (Burma) and Sichuan - China, that were being reported everyday. There are numerous sad news reported of the quake in Sichuan - China and of the cyclone in Myanmar (Burma) and just as many inspiring and happy news reported. This is one story which touched me deeply and one which I would like to share with you.

It is hard to imagine how a human being so fragile in one moment and yet stronger than steel in another. How could one possibly withstand the weight many times that of oneself? When the evacuation team found her body, she was on her knees with hands flat on the ground, holding up her body. It was almost as if she was bowing ceremoniously, but her body was crushed and deformed by the building. A story of love that transcends the physical being. This is one story of the quake in Sichuan - China that will continue to live in one’s heart and will always remind one to treasure those around one; one will never know when these people may be taken away from one’s life.

“Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so.” — David Grayson

My Dear Baby, If You Can Live Through This, You Must Remember That I Love You

When the rescuers found her, she was already dead, crushed by the collapsed building. They could see her through the debris, on her knees with hands flat on the ground, holding up her body. It was almost as if she was bowing ceremoniously, but her body was misshapen, crushed by the building. Rescuers reached a hand in to check that she was dead, shouting and using a stick to lightly knock on the bricks, waiting for a reply or some sign of life from her that never came. When the group turned their attention towards the next pile of debris, the team leader suddenly rushed back, shouting, “Over here, hurry!” He once again stopped in front of her body, trying his best to reach a hand in to feel the ground sheltered by her torso, shouting, “There’s someone here, a child, still alive!”

The rescuers worked to move the debris carefully, finding her child sheltered beneath her torso. A baby, about four months old, wrapped in a red blanket stitched with yellow flowers. Sheltered by his mother’s body, he was unscathed. They carried him out from the debris, sound asleep, his sleeping face warming the hearts of everyone at the scene in the face of death.

A doctor rushed over, undoing the blanket to check for signs of injury on the baby. He found a handphone stuffed under the blanket, and instinctively glanced at the screen. There was a message on the screen, “My darling child, if you live through this, please remember that I love you.” Despite having seen death countless times, tears rolled down the doctor’s face. The handphone was passed around, evoking tears from everyone at the scene.

“Janus graduated today! And he got 3 awards for best in Science and being word smart and nature smart! I am so proud of him!” I can almost see the excitement in her face. It was like hearing her ’screaming’ through the instant messages. “I’m proud of him too. Janus is so smart!” I ’shouted’ back through the instant message’s window. What can I say, positive energy sure is contagious!

They had just gotten back from a simple celebration. I saw the personalize message alongside with her nick that said ‘upset’ and I asked her, “What’s wrong? Why are you upset?” She told me that she cried today because she was sharing her story. Up to now, you might be saying, “So it’s a graduation. What is the big deal?” Janus is a special child; meaning a child with special needs. Children with special needs may have mild learning disabilities or profound mental retardation; food allergies or terminal illness; developmental delays that catch up quickly or remain entrenched; occasional panic attacks or serious psychiatric problems.

According to my friend, Janus has gotten motor skill challenges (I am not too sure if this is a correct term to use) which means that he has some challenges in movement. For example, it is difficult for him to stand for too long. Besides that, he has challenge in speaking normally too. In so speaking, Janus has to go through therapy program everyday to help him to cope with his daily life. Other than that, he is just like any other kids who has his dreams too. He loves car of any kinds and drew numerous picture of cars. And his mother told me that he is a ‘cupboard monster,’ who sometimes messes up the cupboard. I have to agree with that as I had personally seen him doing that.

I asked my friend why she cried when she shared her story? She said that in her speech to the other parents, she told them that even though Janus is a special child, she has never felt ashamed or embarrass whenever she was out with Janus. She has always been proud of him. Come to think of it, throughout the period that I have known her, I have never never heard her complaining or saying a bad things about Janus before; when she spoke of Janus, she is always excited and proud. She shared in the speech that there were times when they were in the mall and people would just tease Janus or poke fun at him or laugh at him and some of them would even follow them just to see Janus’s movements. She said, “Despite that, I am still proud of Janus and I have never thought of hiding him up.” To that, she thanked the people in the school for accepting Janus for who he is and nothing less.

“Janus is really special to me and I know that someday he will achieve what he wants. He has one thing that the others don’t have.” She said. I waited for her to carry on. “Janus is willing to make it better. Although he has challenges in movement, he never failed to practice everyday.” She proudly said. And she told me that she must congratulate her son too because one of Janus’s dreams was to be promoted to Grade 1. She shared that last year Janus was not able to make it because he had challenge in writing. She is thankful that he is alright now.

At this point, she was already crying and on seeing that, Janus said through the microphone, “I love you, Mami.” There were a moment of silence in the hall and she could see some people were crying too. And do you know why she is so proud with Janus? Although Janus has difficulty standing, he stood throughout the whole period when she was speaking! He made it!

And just a moment ago while I was chatting with her, she asked Janus, “Why didn’t you cry just now?” Guess what he said? “Because I controlled my emotion.” Was it my vision failing me or was it raining …

I must say, I am not only proud of Janus, but I am also very proud of my friend! Truly a classic example of unconditional love.

Collin Raye - One Boy, One Girl Lyrics

He finally gave in to his friend’s girlfriend when she said “there’s someone you should meet”

At a crowded restaurant way cross town, he waited impatiently
When she walked in, their eyes met,
And they both stared
Right there and then,
Everyone else disappeared, but

Chorus

One boy, one girl,
Two hearts beating wildly,
To put it mildly, it was love at first sight.
He smiled, she smiled, and they knew right away
This was the day they’d been waiting for all their lives.
For a moment the whole world
Revolved around one boy, and one girl

In no time at all, they were standing there in the front of a little church
Among their friends and family, repeating those sacred words.
The preacher said “son, kiss your bride”
And he raised her veil
Like the night they met,
Time just stood still, for

Chorus

He was holding her hand when the doctor looked up and grinned,
“Congratulations, twins”