An email which I received by Dr. Aramunde which I would like to share with you. Pretty good information on maintaining a healthy marriage relationship.
1. Not having sex
A sexless marriage is a common bad habit that too many married couples fall into. But the importance of sex cannot be minimized. Sex serves as one of the best ways to develop and maintain intimacy, but when you go without sex for so long you get so used to it that your mind begins to not want it anymore.
Many issues can contribute to a sexless marriage, like pregnancy, stress, fatigue or resentment. But here’s how to save your marriage from this bad habit: have sex! Even if you don’t feel like it, do it. Don’t turn down your partner unless there’s a very good reason. Luckily, once you just do it, you’ll probably actually enjoy yourself.
2. Spending too much time with the in-laws
Another common bad habit married couples fall into is in-law interference with marriage. Many couples will tell you that in-law issues can quickly become a source of frustration and resentment in the marriage. The interference is caused by spending too much time with the in-laws (especially at your own home), providing private information about your marriage or spouse to them, or siding with them over your spouse.
While a spouse can be rightfully close to his or her family, the disloyalty will do nothing to save your marriage. First and foremost, your loyalty lies with your marriage, and just because it’s family doesn’t mean it’s OK to gossip or betray your spouse.
3. Not consulting your partner about purchases
Many married couples will tell you that the issue of money is the most contentious of marital problems. Sometimes it’s the intentional refusal to disclose where money is being spent, and sometimes it’s just a bad habit of not being on the same page with monetary purchases or goals.
The fact remains that marriage is a partnership in every sense of the word, and developing a bad money habit will not only cause anger and resentment, but it can also compromise your financial security. This is one habit not worth picking up.
4. Forgetting the smaller gestures
Even the small ones matter when you’re breaking bad habits. Small gestures include kissing your husband or wife when they walk through the door, asking if there’s anything you can get them while you’re up, or offering to do a chore you know your partner hates doing.
Married couples tend to think that because they’ve been together for so long, these thoughtful gestures can be forgone. But it’s these smaller gestures which keep the intimacy alive and keeps you both feeling emotionally connected.
5. Picking up bad habits from your partner
Here is a bad habit within a bad habit. Maybe you’ve started drinking as much as your husband as an excuse to spend more time together, or maybe your wife started letting herself go, and as a result, you don’t frequent the gym or health food aisle as much anymore. Married couples undoubtedly pick up on each other’s bad habits because of the natural close proximity of the relationship. One partner may also pick up on the other’s bad habits as an excuse or as a way to get back at the other (if you can’t beat em, join em). Develop good habits together and practice them as a team.
It’s easier for you to save your marriage from bad habits by nipping them in the bud as soon they develop. But if your bad habits have been around for years, it’s still worth your while to overcome them for the sake of a happy marriage.
Now that you can better see how these bad habits may be creating a void within your marriage, you’ll be more motivated to solve these marital problems quickly and get back to that blissful union you started out with.
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