I asked a friend today how he will be celebrating his Valentine’s Day with his girlfriend. He told me he asked his girlfriend whether she will like to have a candle light dinner. However, she said that she preferred to have dinner at food court. I guess when you are with the one you love, it does not really matter where you eat or what you will be doing. Wishing all a Happy Valentine’s Day!

Heart-shaped boxes full of candy. Red and pink cards. Roses. Bags of chocolate kisses and hard candies that say, “Be mine.” Advertisements for diamonds in all sizes, shapes and forms. It’s hard to forget the fact that Valentine’s Days is upon us once again. Valentine’s Day represents a wonderful opportunity to tell those we care about the most how we truly feel about them and reminds us that we really should be doing this every day of the year. It’s amazing how a small expression of love and appreciation can improve a relationship, but many of us forget this little bit of relationship advice. For this reason, for most couples Valentine’s Day offers a great chance to recommit to truly appreciating and loving each other.

If you are newly in love, you likely express your feelings both verbally and physically often and shower your partner with flowers and love-laced poems, cards and gifts on a regular basis. Valentine’s day represents just one more opportunity to do more of the same. That’s one of the reasons that new relationships thrive – the partners are so focused on showing their love and appreciation for each other.

If you are in a long-term relationship, however, you might more often forget to say “I love you” or to show your spouse or significant other on a regular basis that he or she is appreciated and adored. In other words, you might not appreciate your partner or spouse – or show that appreciation even if you feel it. Such couples should celebrate Valentine’s even if they don’t feel like it, because it’s a great reminder and opportunity to express their love and to show their appreciation outwardly for those deep down inside they care about most – even if they no longer realize it.

If you are stuck in a relationship rut, Valentine’s Day can serve as the beginning of a new “love and appreciation” campaign that last not just for 24 hours but all year long – in fact, all relationship long. Instead of making February 14th a Hallmark holiday – one that simply involves the purchasing of a card and a gift – you can make it the first day that you commit to revving up the romance in your relationship and in your life. You can spend time and energy remember and expressing all the reasons why you first loved and appreciated your partner, and then you can watch how the relationship heats up.

The longer people are married or together, the more common it is for them to take each other and their relationship for granted. So, Valentine’s Day offers them a chance to remember how much they love and appreciate each other. It’s a chance to commemorate the many year’s they’ve been together and to recommit to their relationship once again.

Just like an anniversary or a retaking of wedding vows, Valentine’s day can be a time when couples say, “I’d marry you all over again.” Or it can be a time to look back over the years and remember both the good and the bad times, the easy and the hard times, and to be grateful they weathered them all together.

Since Valentine’s Day does only come once a year, remember to show your appreciation and gratitude for those you love on a regular basis. It’s so easy to forget to say “thank you” and “I really appreciate it when you do that” and “I love you.” Learn to shower your partner with gratitude so he or she always feels loved and appreciated. Don’t wait for a special day like Valentine’s Day. Do it every day. Your partner will love you for it. And your love will grow because of it.

When approaching a woman, most guys make the mistake of thinking too much about what to say. They believe there’s one magic line that will work in all situations. They rehearse this magic line, and when they deliver it, they hope the woman will become instantly attracted to them.
Unfortunately, rarely does this approach work — because most of what you say is irrelevant. To catch a woman’s attention, it is all about the confidence you display when approaching her.

Here are 10 surefire ways to intrigue her every time:

1. Observe something. Make a comment about something you observe in the environment. This is especially effective at the grocery store. For example, if she is ordering a turkey sandwich, ask her if the turkey is good here. Make your comment immediate to the situation and it will seem perfectly natural. No matter where you are, there is always something interesting to comment on.

2. Smile. This shows her that you are friendly and confident. A genuine smile not only feels good to you, but will put her at ease while creating openness in the interaction — a requirement for building rapport.

3. Do not hesitate. If you hesitate in your approach, this tells her that you are not feeling confident — an immediate turn-off. When you see her, walk over to her within a short period of time (the three-second rule). Show her you are a man who knows what he wants and goes after it.

4. Positive body language. If you approach hunched over with your head down, you are sending negative information about yourself, which makes you dead in the water before you begin. Stand up straight, with shoulders back and chest out, and use a firm yet relaxed walk.

5. Not too fast. If you walk over too fast, you could likely trigger her internal alarm. A calm, casual approach is usually the best way to make her feel at ease with you.

6. Keep eye contact. Never be the first to break eye contact when you approach. If you do, this sends the message that you are not feeling good about approaching. When you use strong eye contact, she will feel more drawn to you. With practice, you can master this.

7. Listen up. Make sure you pay careful attention to what she says. Do not have your response pre-thought out. Women love a man who pays attention to the details of what she says. If you start throwing out random words, she will lose interest fast.

8. Do not fidget. Fidgeting after you approach is distracting and shows you are uncomfortable. If you communicate that you are uncomfortable, she will feel uncomfortable, too, and will close up. Practice being aware of your movements. Pay attention to those movements, or lack of movements, that communicate comfort and confidence.

9. Lighten your tone of voice. The tone of your voice is a very powerful tool. Approaching her in a light and playful tone is one of the best ways to start. You could also begin in a serious tone, accusing her of something like “I hope you saved some turkey for me,” followed by a quick smile to let her know you are joking. Practice playing with your vocal tone with your friends — notice the different reactions you get when you say the exact same thing using varied tones and fluctuations.

10. Lean away from her. A man who leans in too far when he talks often makes a woman feel crowded. A better approach is to lean away from her slightly. This lets her know that you respect her space, boundaries, and are comfortable with yourself.

The key to making these tips work for you is putting them into practice! Practice these tips and see the reaction you get. When you put them all together, you will be surprised at their power.

Dating Coach, Blogger and Author David Wygant has been featured on more than 2,000 radio and television shows including Dateline, CBS Good Morning, and MTV. Get more sex and dating tips on David’s interactive blog at davidwygant.com

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The author has a good perspective that marriage is not a competition and marriage should be viewed as sharing — not hoarding. Marriage is about ‘teamwork’; working together and achieving common goals. 

February is Valentine’s month, a time when popular culture compels you willy-nilly to focus more on your relationship, which may not be cruising along as smoothly as it once was. Indeed, it may even be a nagging source of tension for both of you. Here are several strategies, excerpted from my new book “400 Ways to Stop Stress Now…and Forever!” which can help you ease the chill and restore a little vitality and glow to your love life.

Put affection back into your relationship.

A small amount of affection can melt days, months, even years of tension, distance and discord between you and your partner. Take the initiative, swallow your pride and rekindle the affection you once thrived on. A reassuring hand on the shoulder, a simple kiss, a gentle hug are good places to start. Keep at it, even if it’s not immediately returned or acknowledged. In time a thaw will take hold, and warmth and intimacy likely ensue. A daily dose of affection can often soothe what words can’t.

Don’t let your marriage become a lifelong feud.

Marriage isn’t a competition to see whose ways and viewpoints ultimately win out. If you take that attitude — always trying to prove you’re right and the other is wrong — expect a life of tension and discord. Instead, welcome your partner’s input and perspective, work together to achieve goals, and know when it’s more important to back off than get your way. (How would you like to lose all the time?) View marriage as sharing — not hoarding — and your days are sure to be happier and more stress-free.

Give a gift when there’s no reason to.

Yes, it’s fun to give gifts on birthdays, holidays and anniversaries. But isn’t it more or less required, or at least expected? And aren’t we celebrating the event more than the person? Give a gift to someone when it’s NOT expected. See how really good it will make the both of you feel. The best part is, gifts of this nature can be small and inexpensive and still have a wonderful effect. Because it’s a genuine expression of friendship, love or appreciation. And it shifts the focus back to who — rather than what — is important in life. So stop off occasionally and pick up a surprise gift.

Set aside time for each other.

Are you too busy to be a husband? Wife? Lover? Relationships often get shortchanged in the hubbub of daily life. In fact, they’re usually first to get tossed aside, often to make room for the most insignificant things. That’s taking each other too much for granted. You risk letting your intimacy fade and your relationship wither. Keep both well nourished. Set aside a chunk of time each week to spend together, just the two of you. Make it inviolable, mandatory, and go out and have a good time. Strong relationships stay strong by building in essential time for each other. Why shortchange yourself?

Have more fun in bed.

So advised a popular mattress ad. And they had a point. You don’t need a study (like the one mentioned below) to tell you that a healthy sex life can reduce stress. As much as a lack of sex can aggravate it. But today, with our busy schedules and relentless ambitions, sex for many couples has become little more than an afterthought. Sometimes overlooked entirely. This is obviously unhealthy for the relationship. Which adds to even greater stress. Now, the study. According to the Royal Hospital in Edinburgh, a healthy sex life can make you look up to seven years younger, lead to greater contentment and help you sleep better. Why argue? Light the candle, draw the shades and… Why make yourself crazy?

Prepare yourself in advance for what is to come in regards to dating. Dating is fun and exciting but it can also be challenging, exhausting and disappointing. Be determined when it comes to the dating game and throw yourself into it head first but also be aware that you are not likely to find your one and only the first time out. Make sure both your heart and your head are in tune when it comes to the business of courting.

Looking your best may sound superficial but how you look does play a role in attracting others and it also plays a role in how you feel about yourself. Work out, lose weight, start eating better, revamp your wardrobe, try out a new hairdo and/or hair color or whatever it will take to make you feel better about yourself. Feeling like a million bucks can help you exude more self-confidence, which will make you more attractive to the opposite sex. Improving your appearance can make a lot of difference in the long run when it comes to dating.

Map out for yourself a timeline for your personal life but be flexible and realize that modifications may have to be made according to circumstances. For example, where do you hope to be in two years time? What about five years time? Having a loosely put together plan in regards to time can help steer you down the path you hope to be on. Obviously those who yearn to get married and have children will have a different timeline then those who look at dating in more of a casual way.

Be realistic about your expectations. Have respect for yourself but do not aim too low as you deserve the best but do not aim too high either or you may find that no one you encounter is able to live up to your unrealistic standards. Keep in mind that you do not want to knock every potential mate out of the running!

If you want to meet people that share your interests then go to places where you are likely to find like minded individuals. However we often hear people say, “opposites attract.” If this is the case then meeting potential dates that have different interests means going to places that you otherwise would not frequent. The advantage to meeting people who like different things from you is that you learn something new.

Dating is about communicating and socializing and it should be fun. However not all people you meet will suit you and you need to recognize when a person is not for you and move on. Be open and honest with others and never lie or be deceptive. Treat the people you go out with, as you would desire to be treated. Be respectful and kind but know when it is time to call it quits.

Never give up the activities you enjoy to please another person you are seeing and never make yourself too available. Give the relationship time to develop naturally and keep the mystery alive for as long as possible.