Music by Pasquale Catalano “Cuore Di Sabbia” and Images by Monica Sheehan

As from the video:

1. Be Happy – People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be. – Abraham Lincoln

2. Show up

3. Follow your heart – There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart … pursue those. – Author Unknown

4. Find a new perspective

5. Have a sense of wonder – There are two ways to live your life – one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle. – Albert Einstein

6. Find people you love … and I would say loving all the people around us regardless of whether we know them in person or not.

7. Set Goals – Life can be pulled by goals just as surely as it can be pushed by drives. – Viktor E. Frankl

8. Help others – If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them. – Dalai Lama

9. Dance – Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass … It’s about learning to dance in the rain. – Vivian Greene

10. Pamper yourself …

11. Face your fears … – Do the thing we fear, and death of fear is certain. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

12. Go to a museum

13. Exercise – It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver. – Mahatma Gandhi. Besides exercising, we do have to focus on eating healthy too; most health issues are directly related to the food we are putting in our mouths.

14. Limit Television

15. Get in touch with Nature

16. Lighten up

17. Get a good night’s sleep

18. Read books

19. Buy yourself flowers

20. Don’t compare yourself with others – Each of us is unique and special in our own way; do not seek to be like others and do not afraid to be different.

21. Don’t beat yourself up – Loving others start from first learning to love ourselves.

22. Be open to new ideas

23. Don’t focus on negative thought

24. … Focus on creating what you desire

25. Make time just to have fun

26. Keep the romance in your life

27. Make a Gratitude list

28. Love Your Mother Earth

29. Want what you have – Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get. – Ingrid Bergman

How many of us had been through similar situation like this? How did you handle it? Were you as upset and disturbed too? I believe that most of us had been through similar situation at one point or another. As much as we do not want to, there will be times when the words of others will make us doubt ourselves; doubting if we can really achieve what we set in our mind to achieve, doubting if we are good enough, and to the extend of believing in what the others are saying.

The night when she was relating her experience with me, she asked me to share my feeling about the incidence she had that day. I told her, “I have just one thing to share with her.” I heard Abraham Lincoln speaking to me and I shared one of his many quotations with her. “I am not bothered by what others say about me as long as I know they do not speak the truth of me.”

Such simple truth and yet it could be hard to grasp at time. I have shared this quotation with family and friends who were caught in similar situation like the girl countless times. Every time I shared it, it also served as a gentle reminder to myself. We cannot always control what others are saying but we can always control or rather choose how we want to feel or react to what others are saying. They have the right to speak their mind but we have every reason to guard our mind against any negativity. The mind is our single most valuable asset. Empowering ourselves, especially our mind is very important.

You may ask me, “What if they are speaking the truth of me?” I would be glad if others point out my ‘blind spots.’ It would give me an opportunity to reflect upon them and to change if there is a need to. This gives us a chance to improve ourselves and to be a better being.

It is very important to know what love and concern mean for your loved ones too. They may be seeing things from a different perspective as you. I remember reading a story before of a young boy and his father.

“They were planting some seeds and upon seeing the worried face on his son, the father told his son not to worry as by spring, the seed would grow to knee height. Upon hearing that, the son asked, “Dad, your knee or mine?” A simple story and yet very enlightening. A lot of time, misunderstandings could be easily prevented if we could see things from the other person’s perspective.”

In the book Life by Design by Dr. Rick Kirschner and Dr. Rick Brinkman, it asked, “How do you show someone that you care?” Do you show it the way that you want others to show their cares to you? As the saying goes, “Do unto others what you want others to do unto you.” In so to speak, it seems ‘right’ that one should show care to others the way one want others to show care to one. Not exactly ‘right’ literally in this case.

I would not say it is a clear ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ way. When one is talking about Human, one can never see what another see without putting oneself in other’s shoes. There is much wisdom in this. The truth is that people define the same experiences in different ways and they define different experiences in the same way. Have I managed to cause confusion in you?

Let us read a passage from the book Life by Design by Dr. Rick Kirschner and Dr. Rick Brinkman:

Justin and Casey were good friends with a little problem in problem solving. If either of them was upset, the other would consistently make it worse. Yet how was this possible? They were both trying to help! To understand why it wasn’t working for either of them, consider their two ways of defining how friends “should” treat upset friends. When Justin is upset, he thinks that a good friend “should” become interested and ask a lot of questions. When Casey is upset, he thinks that a good friend “should” leave him alone to work it out. What happens when they do unto one another? Casey leaves Justin alone and Justin feels abandoned. Justin pesters Casey with questions and Casey feels annoyed.

Nobody gets what he or she wants and everybody gets more upset. Yet their problem could be easily solved if only they knew each other’s complex of equivalents for friendship when either is upset. Then Casey would know to ask Justin questions and Justin would know to leave Casey alone.

An overlooked in each other different in definition of friendship when either is upset led to misunderstandings. Realization is instant; one needs to be able to show care in a way that another person can understand. This same rule can be applied to other aspects of one’s life. Communication is important and even more important is seeing things from a different perspective; from the other’s point of view.

Have you ever been in similar situation where you thought the other person didn’t care but then it was only because he/she shown it in a different way? And how did you manage to work things out?

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