Just about a week ago, I was discussing with my co-workers turned friends that I just realised – again – that as much as we want to reach out and help everyone, we simply could not reach out and help all. Most people would have the idea that I am talking about people who are not willing to be helped. I agree to a certain extent. However, over here, I am referring to someone who we wanted to reach out and to help and we just do not have the expertise or ability yet.

How did I come to realise it? It was all a magical journey if we would so much as to listen to our inner voice and the Universe.

Just a few weeks ago I was in contact with a potential new student to coach. During the evaluation session with the boy and his parent, I realised the boy may be dyslexic; I came to the conclusion from what the parent described to me and from my personal observation. Although I am not an expert in dyslexia, I was able to read about it from books and from people’s personal dyslexic experience before. Besides that, I had a chance to discuss about it with a parent who has two dyslexic children. And because of her own children, she has started a freelance service to help other dyslexic children.

The challenge was how to put forward what I observed and my thoughts to the parent; especially when not all parents will accept that their children are different. Thus I began cautiously by explaining my observation of their boy and giving them the examples of famous people (Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, Whoopi Goldberg, Tommy Hilfiger, John Lennon, Richard Branson, Agatha Christie just to name a few) who are dyslexic.

I also stressed that dyslexia has nothing to do intelligent; it is just a form of learning disability and if we are able to find the key to open up the learning in each of the child, he/she will have great potential. Apparently, they have come across that and they just thought their boy is a little slow in his learning. I wanted to link them up to the parent who are doing freelance service to help other dyslexic children but they weren’t receptive about it.

In the end I took up the challenge to give it a go. My co-worker and I went through one session with the boy and came out totally clueless what we could do to help; it was simply not within our ability and expertise. True to my personal observation, he is a very smart boy. Besides that, he can be very focus. I felt that it would not be right for us to coach him; what he really needs is someone with the expertise to find the right key to help him to learn.

My sincere apology to the parent who was willing to give us a shot. Fortunately, they were very understanding.

My journey started on Tuesday, 3 August 2010 when I left home at around 3pm with a simple backpack (with clothes and personal stuffs that are supposed to last me at least 3 months) and a laptop. Just before leaving the house, it started to drizzle all of the sudden, typical weather of Singapore where the rain could
come and go as it pleases. The drizzled lasted for a mere 10 minutes and I started my 7 minutes walk to the Mass Rapid Transit (MRT) station. It was mentally a long walk to the station with the weight of the backpack weighing down on me. The hotness and humid of the weather were making it much worse
and by the time I was at the station, I was already sweating like a pig. Guess what? The train chose the ‘right’ time to be late; I waited for more than 15 minutes and continued to sweat like a pig. Eventually the train came and that ended one part of the journey.

The next part of the journey consisted of a 5 hours coach ride to Kuala Lumpur. I was a little anxious since it was my first coach ride to Malaysia and there were a lot of uncertainties. I was there much earlier and waiting, alone, for the coach to arrive did not make the waiting any easier. And yet there was this element of excitement of the ride ahead; I was looking forward to the long ride. It turned out to be a pleasant ride; I made a new friend on the coach and I managed to catch the Blind Side which I thought was a pretty good movie. A lot of times we just have to take the journey. Worrying is normal but futile. We might as well enjoy it since we have to do it. It may not be as bad as what we are thinking.

All the rides were just the side dishes. The real journey has started for me. Till this point of time, I have met a few challenges … some losses and confusions amidst the journey. However, I kept telling myself … this is the greatest opportunity for me to grow. As I pass each challenge, I am a better person. As Carl Jung said, "The greatest and most important problems of life are all fundamentally insoluble. They can never be solved but only outgrown." It might seem unsolvable initially, but as we calm our mind and focus on seeking the solution and have faith, the clouds eventually disperse.

As I proceed in this challenging journey ahead, I am also excited and happy of the person I am becoming.

I am not talking about such sleeping problems where you would be able to seek help professionally or through self-help by making changes to your lifestyles. Before I misled you further, please allow me to rephrase my sentence to make it clearer, “Do you sleep with a peace of mind at night?”

I believe most of us can sleep peacefully without waking up in cold sweat to nightmares at night. I remembered Richard Branson said something along this line, in one of his books, “Don’t do things that will cause you to have problem sleeping at night.” I couldn’t remember the exact words but I gathered he meant we must not do anything bad or against our conscience lest we will be troubled in sleep at night; we always have a choice.

As the saying goes, “To err is human.” Most of us would have made mistakes or errors in our lives. Some of them big, and continue to haunt us for life. Some of them small, and we readily forget. When we made mistakes, we must learn from them and be brave enough to face the consequences; running away is not an option.

Apparently not all people share the same thought and they will flee at the first chance. Dr. Silviu Ionescu, former Romanian diplomat in Singapore, linked to two hit-and-run accidents which killed one and left two injured is one such person. He was believed to be drunk driving when it happened. He was requested to return to Singapore for a coroner’s inquiry. However, Dr. Ionescu said his failing health was the main reason he may not return. He claimed that he could die as a result of his illness, believed to be diabetes.

He firmly denied having anything to do with the accident that killed one, or another later that day that left two people injured.

In remarks to the newspaper, Dr. Ionescu said: ‘I read in newspapers that prosecutors (in Singapore) were accusing me long before they had the right to. They should have done a preliminary inquiry first. It was clearly a sign that I shouldn’t come back.’

Ministry of Foreign Affairs spokesman said that they were puzzled by Dr. Ionescu’s comments. According to the spokesman, “…no charges have been made and no judgment has been passed on Dr. Ionescu. … He should take the opportunity to give his account of the events in order that the true circumstances surrounding the accidents may be determined.”

Was he the one? I have no wish to discuss or pass judgment here because he is the only one who knows. If he was not the one, then all the more he should stand up and clear himself. If he was, then he should return to Singapore to face the consequence.

I am appalled how one can do something like that and yet sleep peacefully at night. How can he/she face others and look them in the eyes? And how can one look at himself/herself in the mirror?

The inability to remember how one learned to walk could be a very important reason why some gave up so readily when they faced with challenges in life. Had they remembered the time when they were learning to walk, they would not be so ready to give up without a fight.

If you would allow me, please moves back in time with me to about one year ago when my twin nephews were learning to walk. Even before they learned to walk, they had to learn to fall on their bums while trying to stand up on their own legs. Most time when they tried to stand up, they fell. Sometimes they cried when falling down hurt. The other times they learned to giggle and to laugh at themselves. It might take them a while to want to stand up again after they fell, however, they never waited too long to give it another shot.

There were times when we were around to catch them when they fell, to cheer them on and there were also times when they picked themselves up silently, without us watching. The numerous falls did not stop them from wanting to rise on their legs. Did they hurt when they fell? I do not know. But their determination to rise up every time they fell was what we could see.

The question is, if everyone has been through this stage, shouldn’t we have this same determination to rise up every time we fall too? I believe everyone has this determination – when we remember how we had stood up every time we fell.

Of course the story did not end there. After learning to stand up on their legs, it was time to take the first step, which was also one of the most important steps in their lives. Did the first step end well? On the contrary, just like everyone else, they fell down again on their first step. Did they try again? What do you think? Just a hint, if they had stopped trying then, I wouldn’t have the chances to chase the two of them around the house now and a day will come when I have to catch my breath while chasing them.

One may say, “they had all the encouragement and cheering when they were taking those steps.” I do not deny the fact that we were giving them a lot of encouragement and cheering along the way. However, they had to be the one who wanted to keep on trying even after endless falls. What did they know about falling? Nothing? Maybe they knew much more about falling than you and I because – they knew nothing about falling to begin with? They did not think too much of people laughing at them or teasing them or no one supporting them; in other words, they did not find reasons to justify their fall. They just knew they can walk when they kept on trying. All the other reasons were not important anymore.

The next time round when you are facing some challenges, do try to remember how you had learned to walk.

“Our greatest glory is not in never failing but in rising up every time we fail.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson