This Too Shall Pass by Helen Steiner Rice

If I can endure for this minute
Whatever is happening to me,
No matter how heavy my heart is
Or how dark the moment may be –

If I can remain calm and quiet
With all the world crashing about me,
Secure in the knowledge God loves me
When everyone else seems to doubt me –

If I can but keep on believing
What I know in my heart to be true,
That darkness will fade with the morning
And that this will pass away, too –

Then nothing in life can defeat me
For as long as this knowledge remains
I can suffer whatever is happening
For I know God will break all of the chains

_________________

How do you usually react whenever someone tells you that it is impossible to achieve something? It has been a while since someone has said that to me with absolute certainty; it was as if his fate had been cast in stone and nothing could be done to change it. Fortunately, I was not prepared to give up on him yet. I asked him, “How hard are you willing to work? Are you willing to go through the 10,000 hours?”

I first chanced upon this 10,000-hour rule from Malcolm Gladwell’s book ‘Outliers’ where a comparison was made of the hours of practice for violinists between elite performers, merely good students and future music teachers. It was found,

“… by the age of twenty, the elite performers had each totaled ten thousand hours of practice where else by contrast, the merely good students had totaled eight thousand hours, and the future music teachers had totaled just over four thousand hours.“

Similar pattern was observed between amateur pianists and professional pianists. Then came the idea that could there be a critical minimum level of practice for excellence? From the book, researchers have settled on what they believe is the magic number for true expertise: ten thousand hours. ” The emerging picture from studies is that ten thousand hours of practice is required to achieve the level of mastery associated with being a world class expert – in anything,” writes the neurologist Daniel Levitin.

It was stated in the book that there is not a case found yet which true world class expertise was accomplished in less time. The question now is, “Are we willing to go through the 10,000-hour rule to become an expert in what we want to do?” Maybe we could argue that we are not aiming to become an expert in a particular field, like to be a professional golfer, to be a renown mathematician, to be a world class pianist etc, so we need not go through the 10,000-hour rule. Indeed, one doesn’t have to go through that many hours of practice if one just takes playing the piano as a hobby.

However, if we do want to be good in golf, then we must practice more. As the saying goes, “Practice makes perfect.” I do not agree with that actually but I do believe that practice makes better; with practice, we will surely get better with what we are doing. If I want to be better in golf and to enjoy the game more, then I just have to play more often and practice more. The next time before we say with absolute certainty that it is impossible for me to be good in golf or in anything we want to be, we must first ask ourselves, if we are willing to go through at least part of the 10,000 hours to be better.

Perhaps we could also argue, “Professional golfer, world class musician etc, they were all born with special talent and ability to be good in what they are doing!” Quoting something from Albert Einstein, “Genius is 1% talent and 99% percent hard work.” Whether we like it or not, that is the cold hard fact; even if we were born with a special talent, but if we do not develop it with practice and hard work, then we would amount to nothing.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly,in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks,love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have sillyness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Random Wisdoms from the video: (as presented in the video)

#01 – MAKE THE MOST OF EVERYDAY

#18 – GIVE and Take

#05 – NEVER STOP LEARNING

#32 – PAY YOUR DEBTS

#17 – DO WHAT YOU LOVE, LOVE WHAT YOU DO

#45 – NO MORE WAR

#69 (Coincidentally) – HAVE SEX

#11 – CHANGE YOUR UNDERWEAR (EVERYDAY)

#05 – VALUE YOUR FRIENDS

#03 – HAPPINESS IS A LOVING HOME

MAVIS SAYS RELAX

#23 – DON’T BE TOO QUICK TO JUDGE

#21 – LIVE LIFE TO THE FULL