“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Job
What are The Top Five Regrets of the Dying as shared by Bonnie Ware (who worked for years nursing the dying) that people have on their deathbed?
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly,in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks,love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have sillyness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Music by Pasquale Catalano “Cuore Di Sabbia” and Images by Monica Sheehan
As from the video:
1. Be Happy – People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be. – Abraham Lincoln
2. Show up
3. Follow your heart – There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart … pursue those. – Author Unknown
4. Find a new perspective
5. Have a sense of wonder – There are two ways to live your life – one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle. – Albert Einstein
6. Find people you love … and I would say loving all the people around us regardless of whether we know them in person or not.
7. Set Goals – Life can be pulled by goals just as surely as it can be pushed by drives. – Viktor E. Frankl
8. Help others – If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them. – Dalai Lama
9. Dance – Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass … It’s about learning to dance in the rain. – Vivian Greene
10. Pamper yourself …
11. Face your fears … – Do the thing we fear, and death of fear is certain. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
12. Go to a museum
13. Exercise – It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver. – Mahatma Gandhi. Besides exercising, we do have to focus on eating healthy too; most health issues are directly related to the food we are putting in our mouths.
14. Limit Television
15. Get in touch with Nature
16. Lighten up
17. Get a good night’s sleep
18. Read books
19. Buy yourself flowers
20. Don’t compare yourself with others – Each of us is unique and special in our own way; do not seek to be like others and do not afraid to be different.
21. Don’t beat yourself up – Loving others start from first learning to love ourselves.
22. Be open to new ideas
23. Don’t focus on negative thought
24. … Focus on creating what you desire
25. Make time just to have fun
26. Keep the romance in your life
27. Make a Gratitude list
28. Love Your Mother Earth
29. Want what you have – Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get. – Ingrid Bergman
With one more day to Halloween, which is an annual holiday observed on October 31, primarily in the United States, Canada, Ireland, and the United Kingdom (according to Wikipedia), we will also be coming to the end of October. And guess what? It will Christmas! Yes! I’m this excited about Christmas! However, before that, a gentle reminder to myself to be grateful for the many blessings in October.
It can be so easy to miss these little blessings that come our way if we do not pay attention enough. Just the other night, I experienced my second case of blackout in Cheras, Malaysia but the fortunate thing was, I was done with my shower and was getting ready for bed already. Thus when the blackout came, I just turned in earlier than usual. Despite the blackout, it was a peaceful night overall.
Sharing my October’s blessings with you, in the form of pictures I took with the Sony Xperia x10 mini. I am still quite satisfy with the photos I am getting so far.
I saw these mushrooms a few weeks ago when I was helping a friend to clean up his new house, they were unlike most of the mushrooms which I had seen in Singapore before and I decided to take a shot of them.
These flowers bear edible fruits which can be pretty juicy. When I was young, we used to eat this by dipping it in a mixture of dark soy sauce and cut chili slices. I caught them at my friend’s old house when I was helping him in the moving a few days ago. You can take a look at the picture of how the fruits look like. It will be pinkish to red in colour when it is ripe. In Malay, it is called ‘Jambu.’ I have no idea what it is called in English. Any idea?
What do children do in the olden days when there were no computers, PS2, Wii or whatever form of modern days entertainment? They would invent new game, or should I say prank, with what Mother Nature provided. They would pluck the part of the plant (below photo) with many tiny little thorns and throw it at the school uniform of their classmates; it stuck on the uniform instantly. The tiny thorns would then ‘act’ like needles, pricking at the back of their classmates. Not exactly a nice thing to do but it wouldn’t do great harm too.
Wishing all of you a beautiful weekend and have fun counting your blessings for October and living in the moment little pleasures. Do feel free to share your October’s blessings with me or make a post about them.
A pleasant surprise. I remember the last time I saw a ladybird, I was around 9-10 years old. Yes, it has been that long. Those were the times when I got to see a lot of ladybirds on the plants along the fence of the school; my friend and I used to catch some of the ladybirds.
I saw this the other day while my associates and I were looking for some plants to add ‘colours’ to our plain looking office. I was elated to see the little ladybird and immediately took out my Sony Ericsson Cyber-shot camera phone to take a few shots; the few shots turned out pretty decent. It sure is good to have a camera with us always – we never know what surprises we will get in life.
Simple thing like this makes me happy. When we learn how to appreciate life, it is easy to be happy with everything and anything. Life’s goodness is in abundance all around us. I appreciate and am grateful for all these goodness; be it the blessings that came along the way or be it the challenges that came my way.
It has been challenging for the past few weeks with lots of brick walls to be cleared. Brick walls which seemed impossible to break down initially all came down eventually. Just as Randy Pausch said, “Brick walls are there for a reason…” They are there to test how much we wanted what we want. In his own words, “… The brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.” The good news is, the greater the brick wall, the bigger the opportunity for growth.
It was an amazing experience to see how each challenge eventually cleared and the limiting belief which I had of myself broke down. It was as if the Universe conspired to make things happened; all issues were ironed out with the assistance of family, friends etc around us. A simple realisation, “When we truly believe and hold the faith strongly that all will work out great, the Universe will respond in the most magical way.” This is the law of attraction.
However, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that all we need to do are to believe and have the faith that all will go well. We need to take action to make things happen too!
Last but not least, to share with you sometimes Steve Job said in his Stanford Commencement Speech, “Sometimes life hits you on the head with bricks, don’t lose faith!“
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