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Archives for Practicing High-mindedness category

A girl blowing a dandelion

“When your thoughts are geared in a positive direction, your feelings are peaceful.” – Richard Carlson, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
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When our thoughts are positive, we will tend to see possibilities from the difficult situations we are facing. However, when our thoughts are negative, we can be easily irritated or agitated. The good news is, we always have a choice. We cannot always control of what goes on outside. But we can always control what goes on inside.

High-Mindedness is a concept which I read from the book, Calm and Compassionate Children, by Susan Usha Dermond. It is the practice of focusing our thoughts in a positive direction. Although the book explores the usage of this concept in parenting, I believe we can adapt this concept in our everyday life.

Practicing high-mindedness is to focus on uplifting moments in everyday life by paying attention to the positive energy surrounding us. The book shares, “Paying attention to the beauty and kindness surrounding us develops sensitivity and gives a calmer outlook on life because it brings our focus to the moment, away from anxiety about the future or past,”

What we can do, as shares by the book, to practice high-mindedness is noticing, which is an activity to share simple joy of uplifting moments with others; for example, the freshness of the morning breeze, the wind rustling the leaves, the smell of a freshly baked loaf of bread or the cloudless blue sky. When we noticed these simple joys, we shared them with others by bringing it to their attention.

Noticing not only helps us to focus our attention to uplifting moments, but also helps us to count our blessings and be grateful for them. Inevitably, we will also be happier when we are finding more time to notice and rejoice in life’s little blessings.

Noticing is one activity which we can carry out with our family and friends. What is being proposed in the book is for family to share gratitude moments at dinner every evening, where everyone shares something from the day that they are grateful for. It will be challenging and may seem unnatural at first, but practice makes better; eventually everyone will find it easy to share moments from the day they are grateful for.

Practicing high-mindedness through noticing will allow us to focus in the positive direction, to appreciate the simple joys in life and to be grateful for the daily blessings that are coming to us. Through that feeling of peacefulness in gratitude, comes happiness.

A question from the book, “What was your most inspiring moment of the day?

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A teacher in New York decided to honour each of her students in high school by telling them the difference they each made to her. She called each student to the front of the class, one at a time. First she told each of them how they had made a difference to her and the class. Then she presented each of them with a blue ribbon imprinted with gold letters, which read, “Who I Am Makes a Difference.”

Afterwards the teacher decided to do a class project to see what kind of impact recognition would have on a community. She gave each of the students three more ribbons and instructed them to go out and spread this acknowledgment ceremony. Then they were to follow up on the results, see who honoured whom and report back to the class in about a week.

One of the boys in the class went to a junior executive in a nearby company and honoured him for helping him with his career planning. He gave him a blue ribbon and put it on his shirt. He then gave him two extra ribbons and said, “We’re doing a class project on recognition. We’d like you to go out, find somebody to honour, give them a blue ribbon, then give them the extra blue ribbon so they can acknowledge a third person to keep this acknowledgment ceremony going. Then please report back to me and tell me what happened.

Later that day the junior executive went in to see his boss, who had been noted, by the way, as being kind of a grouchy fellow. He met his boss and told him that he deeply admired him for being a creative genius.

The boss seemed very surprised. The junior executive asked him if he would accept the gift of the blue ribbon and would he give him permission to put it on him.

His surprised boss said, “Well, sure.” The junior executive took the blue ribbon and placed it right on his boss’s jacket above his heart. As he gave him the last extra ribbon, he said, would you do me a favor? Would you take this extra ribbon and pass it on by honouring somebody else?

The young boy who first gave me the ribbons is doing a project in school and we want to keep this recognition ceremony going and find out how it affects people.

That night the boss came home to his 14-year-old son and sat next to him He said, “The most incredible thing happened to me today. I was in my office and one of the junior executives came in and told me he admired me and gave me a blue ribbon for being a creative genius. Imagine. He thinks I’m a creative genius. Then he put this blue ribbon that says ‘Who I Am Makes A Difference’ on my jacket above my heart. He gave me an extra ribbon and asked me to find somebody else to honour.

As I was driving home tonight, I started thinking about whom I would honour with this ribbon and I thought about you. I want to honour you. My days are really hectic and when I come home I don’t pay a lot of attention to you. Sometimes I scream at you for not getting good enough grades in school and for your bedroom being a mess, but somehow tonight, I just wanted to sit here and, well, just let you know that you do make a difference to me.

Besides your mother, you are the most important person in my life. You’re a great kid and I love you!” The startled boy started to sob and sob, and he couldn’t stop crying. His whole body shook. He looked up at his father and said through his tears, “I was planning on committing suicide tomorrow, Dad, because I didn’t think you loved me. Now I know you care. This is the happiest day I’ve known.”

The boss went back to work a changed man. He was no longer a grouch but made sure to let all his employees know that they made a difference. The junior executive helped several other young people with career planning and never forgot to let them know that they made a difference in his life……one being the boss’s son. And the young boy and his classmates learned a valuable lesson.

Remember… I give you a blue ribbon. Who you are makes a difference, and I wanted you to know that!

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