Still remember the post on Children See, Children Do? Through the time I spent with my niece and nephews, I had witnessed countless time how they had always tried to imitate their parents’ actions. My niece would often wear her mother’s shoes and pretend to be shopping or marketing. And ever since she starts school, she has become the ‘teacher’ to her two brothers at home. As for my nephews, they imitated their father by driving their imaginary cars around the house.
More often than not, we found their actions funny and they never failed to bring smiles to us. All these acts have been more amusing than bad so far.
However, just a few day ago, my sister shared with me something which left a deep impression in me; children, they are really watching us. Whether we like it or not, they are not only watching but doing what we are doing too. To some extent, what she has shared with me is quite disturbing.
Allow me to share what happened. My sister has been making unsuccessful attempts to grow money plants in her house. All the money plants didn’t last for long so far. A recent one was still blooming about a month back. But two weeks ago when I was at her place, it seemed that the money plant was reduced to a few leave. Not a beautiful sight at all.
Sometimes I wonder too, why some people seem to be able to make anything they grow bloom and some have no luck at all. My sister’s neighbour seems to have that magical touch; the money plant outside her house is blooming beautifully. So my sister decided to ‘borrow’ or rather cut a part of her neighbour’s money plant to try to grow in her house.
Well … she should have just asked for permission right? She didn’t. And she did it in front of her 5 years old daughter and twin 3 years old son. A BIG mistake! The moment my sister cut out a part of her neighbour’s money plant, her daughter asked, “Mom, why are you stealing Auntie’s money plant?” My sister said, “I’m not stealing. I cannot ask for Auntie’s permission because she is not around.” Brilliant answer? BIGGER mistake! Her daughter said, “It’s stealing if you do not ask for permission.” And yes, she is 5 years old.
A moment of rude awakening. My sister was dumbfounded! Mistake number 1: She should have just asked for permission to cut part of the plant and yes, my niece was right that ‘taking without asking is stealing.’ Mistake number 2: My sister should have admitted that she did the wrong thing and should not have tried to cover up.
This is definitely something which we do not want our children to pick up. Aren’t we supposed to be the one to tell them about life’s lessons? And yet we are re-learning these lessons from them. Their innocence and untainted eyes have taught us the values which we once knew but may have abandoned in the process of growing up.
Children are definitely watching what we are doing. So we must be careful of what we are doing in front of them. Let me put it this way, if we watch what we are doing even when they are not watching us, then very often we do not have to worry what we are doing when they are watching us.
How about you, in what way(s) has your children been copying you? Have they done anything so far that left a particular deep impression in you and have you watching your actions?
Photo by hortongrou
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A friend shared this touching short film in Facebook. According to a user who posted the same short film in Youtube, it was made in Greek in 2007. With the help of Google, I found it being shown in the 30th Greek Short Film Festival in 2007.
“What is that?” is a short film directed by Constantin Pilavios about a conversation, between a father and his son, when sparrow landed in front of them.
There was an email, with a very similar story, which I received back in 2006. Whichever came first, I do not know. But I hope, through the conversation of the father and his son, we could all be brought back to the time when we were young. Did our parents not shower us with tender love and patience?
This short film reminded me of the many conservations between my inquisitive four years old niece and my mother. Whenever she was watching TV programs with my mother, she would always ask her grandmother what was going on in the show. When my mother answered her question, she would pause to think for a moment and continue to ask another question.
This process of question and answer would just go on and on; the little one never seemed to run out of questions. However, no matter how many questions the little one asked, my mother would always answer in a gentle, patient and loving manner.
I was also reminded of the few conversations one of my aunts had with my grandmother. My grandmother is going to ninety-five soon and she tends to forget about certain things. Like the father in the short film, she would ask the same question repetitively or repeat the same words again and again. But my aunt would always answer her gently and lovingly with a smile.
What similarity can you see between my niece and my grandmother? One is four years old and another at ninety-five years old. Now, if we think about it, my grandmother was once young like my niece and probably with an inquisitive mind. My niece will one day be old like my grandmother and may tend to get forgetful too.
The young will not be with us forever as they move out of the house one day to start their own lives. The best memories are the attention, love and acceptance we can give to them now; these will positively influence them to act the same way toward their children.
The old too will not be with us forever as they will pass on one day. Let them leave with loving thoughts, much as the love and care which they showered upon us when we were young.
Many years ago, through a training, someone told me, “children don’t do things you told them to do, they do what they saw you doing.” It certainly was one of those ‘aha’ moments.
If you have kids of your own or have spent time with kids, then I’m sure you can recall how they have always tried to imitate you; whether it is the thing you are saying or things you are doing. Most of the time we would find their imitations funny and adorable to us.
What if they imitate our violent acts or our rude cursing and swearing at each other? That wouldn’t be very funny and adorable right?
If we ever hope to build a world where people love and care for each other, where people show loving kindness, compassion and respect toward each other, then we have to do it from young. We have to inculcate in the young to love and care for each other, to show loving kindness, compassion and respect toward each other. But how can we hope to influence them with such positive values if we act otherwise?
In other words, we must start first with ourselves.
I received this email from a friend few days ago and just managed to go through it this morning. You can’t be more amazed by children sometimes; what they do, what they say etc.
Even by my own niece and nephews … sometimes they did things or said things that really make me wonder, “Where did they learn to do that or said that?” There were even times when they did things that ‘logically’ we should be angry with them but we found them amusing instead. If you have been around with children often … you will know what I mean.
There are 2 quotations on children which I would like to share with you:
“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.” – Unknown
“Let parents bequeath to their children not riches, but the spirit of reverence.” – Plato
It does seems that children do have their priorities set straight and it further made me wonders and enlightens that we may be growing up … but not necessary wiser. I remembered a quotation that goes, “growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.” What can you say about children? Have you had any experience before where they never failed to amaze you? Please feel free to share the most wonderful experience you had with children in the comment; I am sure there are countless.
From the email I received:
Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four-year-old child, whose next-door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap and just sat there. When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, “Nothing, I just helped him cry.”
By Ellen Kreidman
from A 3rd Serving of Chicken Soup for the Soul
Copyright 1996 by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen
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Still remember the post on Children See, Children Do? Through the time I spent with my niece and nephews, I had witnessed countless time how they had always tried to imitate their parents’ actions. My niece would often wear her mother’s shoes and pretend to be shopping or marketing. And ever since she starts school, she has become the ‘teacher’ to her two brothers at home. As for my nephews, they imitated their father by driving their imaginary cars around the house.
I received this email from a friend few days ago and just managed to go through it this morning. You can’t be more amazed by children sometimes; what they do, what they say etc. 