Then Steve Jobs said something about loving what you do, “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking. Don’t settle.”

And Francois Marie Arouet (Voltaire) put it very simply, “I have decided to be happy because it’s good for my health.”

Joseph was right when he said that the universe will open doors where there were only walls and might I say that we need to have strong faith, courage and trust that it will all turn out great too; because more often than not, we need to walk through the wall or to knock down the wall to build the door. The universe favours one who work hard and there is always delay gratification. Patience. Why you may ask? As the saying goes, “Easy comes, easy goes.” And so it will be with the gift bestows to you from the universe. Thus, it is necessary to prepare one mentally to receive that greatest gift of becoming the person we were born to be. In fact, we are already that person, waiting to be let out of our heart.

The preparation could have come in the form of lessons in life and work. Steve Jobs mentioned that work is going to fill a large part of our life. So doesn’t it make sense to do work that we love, work that bring out our best potential, work that we are naturally good? It certainly makes a lot of sense. As the saying goes, “When we love the work we do, then we don’t have to work anymore for another day because we will be playing everyday.

That happiness found in work will surely overflow to the other parts in life; affecting first and foremost the relationships with our family and friends. Don’t we all know of someone who is everyday complaining about work? It is rather sad actually to see someone we care about going through the unhappiness. Yet I think Randy Pausch put it best when he said, “Too many people go through life complaining about their problems. I’ve always believed that if you took one tenth the energy you put into complaining and applied it to solving the problem, you’d be surprised by how well things can work out.” Are we also falling into such a cycle? A gentle reminder to myself, “Acknowledge the challenges and then to focus on the solutions.”

Read a quote by Anthony Douglas Williams this morning that goes, “Spending time with children is more important than spending money on children.” While we are busy making a living to provide for our little ones, they are also quietly growing up. We have missed the most crucial years of our children; some have said these are the most ‘fun’ and fulfilling years.

These are the years where the most changes occurred. I have always said, “Children (the word which I having been using to refer to kids in the age range from baby to toddler and before they start their formal education) grow up very fast, and before we know it, they are all grown up already. These are the years when they want to stick to us wherever we go and don’t talk about private time for ourselves because even in the toilet, they will insist on keeping us company as if we cannot handle our own pee and poo; talking about who’s in charge in the family. These are also the greatest years to some parents! Were these also your greatest years?

Reading that quote by Anthony Douglas Williams this morning also reminded me of something I read from Jen Hatmaker about 1-2 months ago, which I thought makes a lot of sense. I couldn’t have said it better than Jen Hatmaker and so I’ll leave you with her words below:

“you will never have this day with your children again. tomorrow, they’ll be a little older than they were today. this day is a gift. breathe and notice. smell and touch them; study their faces and little feet and pay attention. Relish the charms of the Present. enjoy today, mama. it will be over before you know it.“

1. Focus on doing good things and all else will follow. This morning I read a comment someone made that being a good person is the world’s toughest task. Indeed, it could very well be the greatest challenge – especially when we put the focus on being a good person. Abraham Lincoln said it best when he said, “When I do good I feel good, when I do bad I feel bad.” Let us focus on doing good things and being a good person comes naturally in the process. It couldn’t have been more simpler than that. To do a rain check on ourselves, we can use the Integrity test: What we do when no one is watching us should be the same as when we know that someone is watching us. And follow our heart, not our ‘desire’, as it will always have the right answer for us.

2. Change should and must come from us – FIRST. I am a strong believer of Mahatma Gandhi‘s philosophy, “Be the change that you want to see in the world.” Instead of trying to change people, we lead and inspire the change.

3. Spend time with positive, loving and happy people. We know that positiveness and happiness are highly contagious, and yet we are allowing ourselves to be ‘beaten’ continuously by negative people around us. Have a clear picture of the kind of person we want to be and associate ourselves with like-minded people who are supportive and are willing to help us to become the person we aspire to be. It is easy to let go of negative people who are not closely related to us. How about those closely related to us? I’m not telling you to cut the tie completely; let them know that you will keep the lifeline always open for them and yet understand clearly that you can lead the horse to the river, you can’t make it drink. Understand also that they may not be ready now and there will be a time when they are ready; be there for them when they are.

4. Start loving people, including ourselves, and let go of any hatred we may hold of others. As Buddha said (I changed a little in this context), “Holding on to hatred is like grasping hot coals with the intent of throwing them at someone else, we are the one who will get burned.” Harness the power of forgiveness and free ourselves. As Louise Hay said, “I forgive everyone in my life, and release them with love. They are free and I am free.” Forgiveness free the people we hate and most importantly – free us.

5. Live in the present. Learn the lessons from the past and leave the past where it should stay. Start living in the moments. The things we are doing today will create the tomorrow we dream and putting our attention to the current moments can make a huge difference in simplifying our lives. Take care of today and tomorrow will turn out to be what we want it to be.

6. Start to take up responsibility. Putting the blame on others accomplishes nothing and complicates things. Be the master of our fates and the captain of our souls. Choose to be in control of ourselves, then to let go of that control to someone else.

7. Put useful information in our minds and mind our own businesses. The mind is the garden of our well-beings. Would we dump rubbish into our gardens? Yet, we are putting useless information into our mind. Online social medias like Facebook, Twitter etc are splendid way to keep in touch, yet many spend hours everyday minding the businesses of their friends in these social medias. We should be the one making use of these social medias and not the other way round.

8. Take a step backward in making decisions. Moving backward could be the best way to forge ahead sometimes. Think things through before making decisions especially when we know our emotions are kicking in. The best decisions are usually made with a clear mind.

As the saying goes, “Do unto others what we want others to do unto us.” I am a strong believer in the simple words of Mahatma Gandhi, “Be the change that you want to see in the world.” The change in the world must first come through the change in myself and it will go on to inspire others to change.

Some may remark that we would be in the losing ends as there are people who would take advantage of us when we are kind to them, which I totally agree. We cannot always control how others will treat us, yet we have control in how we choose to treat others and that is all that mattered; self mastery is a bigger challenge in most people and if we can master ourselves, we can be of better service to others and to the world. I hope that you will be inspired by the poem and can join me in this challenge to “live the Paradoxical Life and face the worst in the world with the best in yourself“, quoting the words from The Commandments Website.

The Paradoxical Commandments
by Dr. Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.