Children Learn What They Live was a poem on child-rearing written by Dorothy Law Nolte for the weekly family column for the Torrance Herald in 1954. I think all of us have an important role to play in the upbringing of children; it doesn’t has to be our own children, it can be any children who come into contact with us. What do we want them to learn from us?
Children Learn What They Live
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.
Someone shared this video with me about two weeks ago and it wasn’t till now that I am making the time to share this with you. Thank you for sharing this with me and pardon me for taking so long to share this gem with you.. The video was written and directed by Malcolm Green; cinematography by Daniel Trapp and produced by Simon Goodman. It was part of Jewish Care’s Pearls of Wisdom campaign, which aims to highlight the value and importance of older people in today’s ageing society. This video is a wonderful reminder of the wisdom of elderly around us. From a Chinese Proverb, “Having an elderly at home is akin to having a treasure at home.”
Random Wisdoms from the video: (as presented in the video)
Follow the journey of a young boy of a three-generation household, as he sees first hand the importance of respecting, honouring, and loving his parents, through the best and the worst of times. What truly captured my heart is the line, “How one generation loves, the next generation learns.” There couldn’t be more true to that line; I learn respect, unconditional love and acceptance from watching how my parents treat their parents.
My grandmother taught me a valuable lesson in Patience, Unconditional Love and Acceptance recently. She was admitted in the hospital for more than two weeks. For the two weeks, we took turns to take care of her during the day so that the caregiver could take a rest at home and be back in the evening to take care of her through the night.
Initially for the first 3 nights she was very restless and hallucinating; seeing things and people around her and making noises. There was really nothing much we could do, except to try to calm her down in different ways.
Fortunately she got much better and her mind much clearer after the third day; she could recognise us. However, she was still eating very little and getting weaker. We tried buying her some of her favorite food and cooking what she requested but she was still not eating. The doctor was telling us if she continued to refuse to eat, they would have to feed her by inserting a tube through her nostril down the throat and into her stomach. We were all at a lost and didn’t know what to do except to hope that she would start eating.
Then miraculously she started eating more and more. Soon she regained her strength back. My grandmother is a very strong-willed lady who always want to win. Thus the first thing when she got back her strength, she wanted to go home; the hospital couldn’t discharge her as they were monitoring her blood sugar level (which has been high) as well as her hemoglobin (which has been low). We had to try all ways to pacify her to stay in hospital.
The good news is, she was discharged from the hospital yesterday.
Have you heard of a quotation that goes something like this, “Live your life the way such that when you were born, others were smiling and when you are dead, they are crying?” You might have already heard something similar before. When I die, I do hope to ‘see’ my loved ones smiling.
As most people will say, it is not the quantity but the quality that counts. That is certainly true for most people. The question remains, “Are we living the kind of quality life?” Just as one man’s meat is another poison; what depicts a quality life to one may not be to another. One has to know what one’s definition of a quality life is.
I was talking to a friend in Yahoo messenger recently and she told me that she still missed her father sometimes. I didn’t know at what age her father was when he passed away but one thing I am very sure, he was a great husband and father! Quality life can be that simple – to provide for loved ones and to be always there for them when they need you. Quality life doesn’t have to be a life of luxuries where you are eating the best food, wearing the best silk and drinking the best wine.
Recently, I was at the temple paying respect to my father who passed away for more than two years now. On that day, there were 13 of us altogether at the temple including my mother, brother, sister and my father’s sisters. Time seems to pass quickly and quietly for one who was no longer with us. He has continued to live in our heart. Probably that was what it meant by the quotation above, “Live your life the way such that when you were born, others were smiling and when you are dead, they are crying.”
My father was an ordinary man and he had been a cab driver for all his life; up to the point before he left us. However, he was an extraordinary son, brother, husband and father. A man of few words, he shown his loves and concerns through his actions. He was filial to his parents and always found time to visit them every weekend and spent time with his brothers and sisters too. As a responsible husband, he had taken on the duty to drive my mother to and from work almost everyday. As far as I can remember, he rarely quarreled or even raised his voice at my mother. And although he did not earn much, he still passed allowances to my mother without failed.
To us, he had always been a strict father who never failed to punish us when we did wrong. His loves and concerns for us were also shown subtly through his actions. I could say that my brother, sister and I were very fortunate as we never had to go hungry. Our allowances for the school had always been generous too and allowing us to save up quite a bit to buy things that we wanted. There were times when he would be out with his friends and he would always call home to check if we wanted supper. He had been a good role model to me and I had learnt numerous values in life from him.
If you asked me, “Had he led a quality life?” I couldn’t answer for my father as I had never asked him before on what was considered a quality life to him. However, to me, it definitely can be considered a quality life. As I mentioned earlier, the definition of a quality life differs from one individual to another. You have to ask yourself what will be considered a quality life to you. To me, a quality life is to be able to affect people positively and to influence them to lead a better life.
That is one reason why this website was set up in the first place. Initially (and it remains the same), I just wanted to share with people around the World the positive power and wisdom in love quotations. Now, besides doing that, I also want to advocate love and tolerance in the world and to positively affect the lives of people. No matter how long you’ll be alive, what is most important is to live a quality life; one when you look back, you can smile and be proud of. Let Us live a quality life and live it to the fullest!
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