“Don’t be angry with children, you’ve come along the same way. Don’t laugh at old people; you’d go to the same way.” – Japanese proverb shared by Nyanko from Rain Cats And Dogs.

A tribute to all mothers and fathers in the world. The write up below was translated by me directly from a Chinese poster I saw, pinned up, on one of the doors at my sister’s house. A gentle reminder that we were once ‘old’ when we were young. Does this make sense to you?

A Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers in the world! Thank you all for the unconditional love and sacrifices you have all made for us!

When I am Old

When I am old and not my original self,
Please be understanding and be patient with me.

When I spill the soup on my own clothes,
And forget how to tie my shoelaces,
Please think about how I had taught you, step by step, to tie your shoelaces.

When you are tired of the words, which I am repeating,
Please listen patiently and don’t interrupt me.
When you were young, I had to repeat the same story again and again until you fell asleep.

When I need you to shower me,
Please don’t blame me.
Do you remember how I had to coax you to take your shower?

When I am helpless with new technology and things,
Please don’t make fun of me.
Think about how I patiently answered every ‘Why’ you had.

When both my legs are too tired to walk,
Please stretch out your strong hand to support me.
Just as I stretched out my hand to you, when you were learning to walk.

When the topic of our conversation slip my mind,
Please give me a little time to recall.
Actually, whatever the topic of our conversation is of no importance.
I will be contented, as long as you are listening to me by my side.

When my time has come, please don’t be sad.
Understand me, support me,
Just as how I treated you, when you were starting to learn about living.

No, I did not coin that line. That line was thought of by Yasmin Ahmad and her team. Whoever thought of that line is brilliant; such a simple line and yet enlightening.

Last night, I was chatting with a friend and she was talking to me about her past relationships and somehow I told her something like this, “when you are in love with a person, you will love the person as a whole. You can’t just choose what you love about a person and then write off those parts that you don’t like.” Relationship doesn’t happen this way. Very often when we love someone, we have to accept the ‘package’ that comes with the person, be it good or bad.

And yet there are some who are still searching for the ideal or perfect partner.

Below is a new TV commercial launched by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS) which looks at relationships in a different light. Something from the video that we can use to remind ourselves of the beautifully imperfections: “ … in the end, its these small things that you remember … little imperfections that make them perfect for you.” Perhaps, you can spare 3 minutes of your time to watch this video?

When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then.

And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned toast in front of my dad.

I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed!

Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my mom, and ask me how my day was at school. I don’t remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite!

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the toast. And I’ll never forget what he said: “Baby, I love burned toast.” 

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his toast burned.

He wrapped me in his arms and said,”Debbie, your momma put in a hard day at work today and she’s real tired. And besides-a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!” 

In bed that night, I thought about that scene at dinner…and the kindness my daddy showed my mom.

To this day, it’s a cherished memory from my childhood that I’ll never forget.

And it’s one that came to mind just recently when Jack and I sat down to eat dinner. I had arrived home late…as usual…and decided we would have breakfast food for dinner. Some things never change, I suppose! To my amazement, I found the ingredients I needed, and quickly began to cook eggs, turkey sausage, and buttered toast.

Thinking I had things under control, I glanced through the mail for the day. It was only a few minutes later that I remembered that I had forgotten to take the toast out of the oven! Now, had it been any other day — and had we had more than two pieces of bread in the entire house — I would have started all over. But it had been one of those days and I had just used up the last two pieces of bread. So burnt toast it was!

As I set the plate down in front of Jack, I waited for a comment about the toast.

But all I got was a “Thank you!”

I watched as he ate bite by bite, all the time waiting for some comment about the toast. But instead, all Jack said was, “Babe, this is great. Thanks for cooking tonight. I know you had a hard day.” 

As I took a bite of my charred toast that night, I thought about my mom and dad…how burnt toast hadn’t been a deal-breaker for them. And I quietly thanked God for giving me a marriage where burnt toast wasn’t a deal-breaker either!

You know, life is full of imperfect things…and imperfect people. I’m not the best housekeeper or cook. And you might be surprised to find out that Jack isn’t the perfect husband! He likes to play his music too loud, he will always find a way to avoid yard work, and he watches far too many sports. Believe it or not, watching ” Golf Academy” is not my idea of a great night at home!

But somehow in the past 37 years Jack and I have learned to accept the imperfections in each other. Over time, we have stopped trying to make each other in our own mold and have learned to celebrate our differences.

You might say that we’ve learned to love each other for who we really are!

For example, I like to take my time, I’m a perfectionist, and I’m even-tempered. I tend to work too much and sleep too little. Jack, on the other hand, is disciplined, studious, an early riser, and is a marketer’s dream consumer. I count pennies and Jack could care less! Where he is strong, I am weak, and vice verse.

And while you might say that Jack and I are opposites, we’re also very much alike. I can look at him and tell you what he’s thinking. I can predict his actions before he finalizes his plans. On the other hand, he knows whether I’m troubled or not the moment I enter a room. We share the same goals. We love the same things. And we are still best friends. We’ve traveled through many valleys and enjoyed many mountaintops. And yet, at the same time, Jack and I must work every minute of every day to make this thing called “marriage” work!

What I’ve learned over the years is that learning to accept each other’s faults – and choosing to celebrate each other’s differences – is the one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting marriage relationship.

An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son.

Suddenly a crow perched on their window.

The Father asked his Son, “What is this?”

The Son replied “It is a crow”.

After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, “What is this?”

The Son said “Father, I have just told you “It’s a crow”.

After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time, “What is this?”

At this time some expression of irritation was felt in the Son’s tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. “It’s a crow, a crow”

A little after, the Father again asked his Son the 4th time, “What is this?”

This time the Son shouted at his Father, “Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times ‘IT IS A CROW’. Are you not able to understand this?”

A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary:

“Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time he asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child”.

While the little child asked him 23 times “What is this”, the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed.

Lesson to learn from This Story:

If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents.

From today say this aloud,

“I want to see my parents Happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me.

They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today”.